This is a question I've thought about since Thursday. If you've read my posts since then, you'll know there has been a lot of blessings in our family this week.
I was on my way to work Friday morning, trying to get there early so I could get caught up on things that needed to be done. I figured I would use the commute to just thank God for everything that had transpired in the last 24-48 hours.
But I couldn't do it.
I will try and explain why, but first, let me give you a quick snapshot... Steve got an interview (out of the blue), we learned we had gotten a new LID without any trouble, we got a referral, there is no way-outside a miracle-we should have gotten Kylie when we did, she's perfectly healthy except her cleft, Steve GOT a job...and this was JUST in 24 hours. Not to mention how many times the Lord has provided financially for us over the past 2 years. Over and over and over again. I could fill an entire BOOK with the times He has provided for all our needs and sometimes even our wants.
And when I took time to stop and really say thanks, I just couldn't do it. Because "thanks" just didn't cut it. To say we were overwhelmed at the blessings is an understatement. I quoted in an earlier post Malachi 3:10 and that's how I felt. I felt like God had literally thrown open the heavens and just poured out the best blessings ever on us. And simply saying thanks just wasn't enough.
So I did what I do when I really want to communicate with God. I popped in my worship CD. This is a CD Rachel made for those of us who went to Louisville's Deeper Still conference. There's nothing special about it. They are songs I have on my own iPod. But they are all the girls' favorites. And put together, they are just what I needed.
I cranked the music up loud and just worshipped my heart out. I raised my hands (ok just one at time since I was driving!) and I wept over God's grace in my life. It was a holy time there in my van. When I couldn't put my gratefulness into words, the music helped me express myself.
In answer to the original question, "how do I say thanks?" I can't. I can only worship. And give Him the glory for everything...even for 2 years of unemployment, the pain of thinking we wouldn't have Kylie for another 18 months, the loss of several family members I loved dearly...ALL of it.