I Fell In Love...

It was a rainy, commute this evening coming home from work.  Rainy commutes = LONG commutes.  I was kinda crank already because of this whole LOA situation.  I'm tired of waiting and unfortunately that is what this entire process consists of.

I have been fairly successful, since August 3, in keeping this whole adoption at arms' length.  What I mean is that I look at Kylie's picture and think, one day that will be my daughter.  It's been such an abstract idea that I have managed to not really become emotionally attached.  When you are so many months away from everything you've waited for coming to fruition, it's really not that hard.  I know that might sound cold but I believe it's a necessary evil of survival in this crazy adoption world.

Today, while I was sitting in mile long traffic in the rain, I was contemplating my bad mood.  I could acknowledge it was because I simply didn't want to wait anymore.  And it was then that I realized...I had not really kept this sweet little girl at arms' length like I thought.  Somewhere along the way, she BECAME my daughter.  Not "will become" or "would become", but she HAS BECOME my little girl.

Somewhere along the way, I fell in love and didn't even realize it. 

And that's what makes this wait so hard.


Christy said...

I can't wait to see the pictures of YOUR daughter in YOUR arms! Praying for all of you till then!

brook said...

wait until she is in your home...and you think back about the wait and freak out "this is my daughter and she lives here with me!" olivia has been home three months....and i still can't believe this is real! i promise the pain of this wait goes away!!!