Current mood: distressed
A couple of blogs ago actually. And there were two...one on friends and one on Steve's job. Well, I have more thoughts on both.
First, in regards to Steve's job...while we thought all was done and taken care of, this morning, the new owners of the company told Steve that they just didn't have a place for him. Needless to say we were and still are in shock. We thought they'd made it clear that he'd be employed when they said, "We have positions on 2, 4, and 6 color presses. Which would you feel more comfortable on?" that he had plenty of positions to choose from. Today he was told 3 different excuses of why they "didn't have a position"...one was that he interviewed badly. Well, after working in the same company for 23 years, perhaps he is a little rusty on the interview skills, ya think? And do most companies judge by interview skills only? Apparently this one does. The second reason was the original "we don't have a position for you". OK, I could buy that except for the small fact that everyone ELSE in the company they found a position for. Hmmm...and the third reason was that they didn't think it was fair to cut his salary so he could stay on the 2 color press he wanted. OK, but a) shouldn't you have let HIM make the decision on a paycut or a bigger press and b) they never mentioned to get his current salary he'd have to run something bigger than a 2 color. Perhaps if they'd mentioned that little fact, he would have said he would be happy to operate a bigger press. He's certainly capable of doing that. But conveniently for them, they left that little detail out.
And out of their generosity, they have offered him 13 weeks severance which is the equivalent to 1 week's pay to every 2 YEARS of work with the company. Sweet. All this to say, be loyal to a company, pour your heart and soul into it, have stellar work ethic and then get crapped on when the chips are down. That's business for you. Makes me proud to be an American.
OK, so I'm bitter. Angry. Furious actually. Scared. Really scared. I know that most people in this world have gone through these job/career transitions and have gone on to be perfectly normal, happy folks, but this is new to us. And Steve's 47. A career change at this point in his life is more difficult than one would think. So...all this to say, we are not sure how long he'll be employed, but we should know soon. And this weekend, we are taking time to work out our emotions. As soon as Steve told me, I immediately got angry. I mean, really, really angry. The cursing-everyone-and-everything angry. Then I cried. I cried most of the morning at work. Each time I received an email of support or reminding me that the Lord will bring us through this, I cried more. Now, the shock is wearing off and the anger is at the ebb and flow stage. When we talk about it, we are angry all over again. I am starting to slip into the worry/panic mode. This is the part I hate. The part I don't want to deal with at all. I have so many thoughts running through my mind that I can hardly channel them all. I wonder about whether we'll be able to afford to keep Jenna in Christian school. Nothing against public school, it's just we feel very strongly that Christian/private is where Jenna needs to be. Of course, I'm not going to get started on all the things that I'm worrying about because we'd be here all night. On to the other blog I was going to mention...
That whole long email about "best friends"...well, I have discovered today that I have at least 35 "best friends". As soon as we found out the news, I immediately sent an email to my Sunday School class as well as a personal email to friends in my personal address book. All day long, I had emails pouring in from friends pledging their prayer, support and friendship. And each brought with them comfort and peace to my freshly shattered world. Just to mention a few who really stood out today...my good friend at work, *Allison, who actually stood in my cube and literally cried with me. Seriously, as I cried, she grabbed her own Kleenex and cried right along with me and then offered to take me to lunch. I mean, what's a true friend if it's not one that will literally shed tears right along side of you and then offer you comfort food?!? Then there was *Nancy who also stood in my cube in righteous indignation as I explained the situation. And then periodically, would check on me during the day to find out if there was more news...Not to mention *Karen H. who emailed immediately to express her shock and support. And then offered to also take me to lunch next week, her treat. *Farrah who didn't know what to say, but kindly forwarded me names and numbers of outplacement agencies for our own personal use...Then *Danette who not only called my work phone to tell me I was in her thoughts but also called my cell phone to try and reach me. *Kylene who took my sobbing phone call at 7:30am and even though she was probably trying to get things together to leave to go out of town, she listened patiently and also expressed her shock. Ah, how many phone calls poor Ky has endured of me sobbing or screaming at some injustice I was going through. Then of course there was my sweet dear stepdaughter, *Micah, who I actually called myself to tell her about the news so she didn't hear from anyone else. Micah, who understands better than most, what it's like to be blindsided with the news of your own termination. And her anger at the unfairness of it all. To sit and list the names of every email author or phone caller would take all night. But through this, I have realized that all this time, I had many "best friends" right under my nose if I'd only taken time to recognize them as such. Thank you all, my friends...my BEST friends. You will never know what your friendship, support and prayers mean to me and Steve.
As for us, we will get through this. I don't know how right now, but we will. And yes, it will be "fine", eventually. God brought us to this point to take us further into the future with Him. We simply have to believe that He is in control. I say "simply", but even though we have watched time and time again as He brings us through the storm, we forget His goodness, mercy...grace. I feel strongly that even now we are right where God wants us to be even though it's not a pleasant place at the moment. All I have to do is call out to Him and He will come to my side and not just walk through this with us, but carry us through...
And to you, my friends, I'll keep you posted...
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