I've been thinking about this post for several days now. I've debated about whether to say anything or not, but since it's not leaving my mind, I feel like I just need to say it and get it over with.
A friend recently brought up something I posted on my Facebook status that might have been misunderstood. I know many of you aren't friends with me on Facebook but I think hearing the full story might be beneficial especially to my adoptive family readers out there.
A couple weeks ago, I had tentatively finished up my taxes in Turbo Tax. Unfortunately, due to several things, it looked like (and turned out to be true) we would owe a large sum of money in taxes. My Facebook status was something along the lines of, "Looks like we'll owe $XXX amount in taxes this year. There goes the adoption fund!" The comment was totally tongue-in-cheek and wasn't exactly serious.
Apparently, someone who might have donated to our adoption fund saw that post and wondered if I was using their donation to pay my personal taxes. First, I don't know who this person is, or if anyone really said anything. But it was clearly bothersome enough that a friend of mine cautioned me about saying anything like that again on Facebook. I'm not angry at my friend. I honestly believe she is looking out for my own well - being in her caution. She doesn't want to see people stop donating due to a possible misunderstanding. As soon as she brought it up, I could totally see how someone who was not privy to the whole story might assume that I was using donations to pay my taxes.
I took the advice to heart and made a mental note for later. However, the more I thought about it, the more emotion bubbled to the surface. At first I was angry. Angry that someone would dare question my integrity. Angry that someone would know me so little to think I'd do something dishonest like using their donated money for something other than the adoption for which they'd intended it.
And then I got sad. Sad that a person's mind goes immediately to questioning instead of just assuming they don't know the full story. So, in case any of you saw that Facebook status and wondered...here's the story...
Steve and I have been blessed in that we had enough money in savings to start our adoption fund. For those non-adoptive families, adoptions (domestic and/or international) can cost upwards of $35,000. Though it's not my obligation to share with you where the money came from, suffice it to say in the last few years we've lost Steve's mom, my dad and both of my brothers. Therefore it might stand to reason we have accumulated some inheritance money wouldn't it? And while we did have enough money to start the fund, as most of the adoptive families know, you run though thousands of dollars by the time your dossier is sent out. We are blessed to have enough OF OUR OWN MONEY to pay our taxes this year. Our intent was for that money to take us further in our adoption, but clearly we're going to have quite a bit of fundraising to do before we have enough to cover the rest and all our travel.
All that to say, we have not, now or EVER, used any donated money to pay for anything non adoption related. I'm angry and saddened that I even have to defend myself publicly, but since there were a number of people who saw that FB post (some of you even commented on it), I felt the best thing to do after the fact was offer an explanation. And if you know me at all, you would have known that would be something I never would have considered doing. But if you are someone who has your doubts and you have donated money to our adoption, then feel free to contact me privately and I'll be more than happy to refund your money.
As for the rest of you who never had a second thought about my FB post, thank you.