Our final hours in China...

Wednesday morning, we got up and had a leisurely breakfast.  We had several hours to finish packing (which seemed like a monumental task) and get ready to catch our ride to Hong Kong.

Jenna took pics at breakfast...

There was a gorgeous courtyard outside our hotel and it was our view at breakfast the entire time we were in the Garden Hotel.  So, after breakfast, we went out and got some shots since we had time to spare.

And probably my favorite...

At 3:30, we met downstairs and reviewed our paperwork one more time and then it was a very NICE van ride to Hong Kong.  The ride took about 3 hours and again, Kylie was good the entire time.  Hong Kong is an interesting place.  Even though they are part of China, they are run by an entirely different government.  They drive on the opposite side of the road, cars steering wheels are on the opposite side, they use different money and when you get to the border, you are shot with a thermo gun to see if you have a fever (we didn't, thank goodness) and then you have to get out of the car and go into this big rest-stop type area for your passport/visas to be reviewed.

We checked into our hotel and had just enough time to feed Kylie, Skype with our boys and get ourselves ready for the next morning.  We ordered room service for dinner and then went to bed so we'd be sure not to miss our alarm and airport shuttle the next morning.

We skipped breakfast the next morning in the interest of time and thinking we'd grab something at the airport.  We got the shuttle, but when we got to the airport, there was a super long line to check in.  By the time we checked in, we had about 1 hour before the flight left, and they were going to begin boarding in about 20 minutes.  We had a LONG commute in the airport to get where we needed to go and we were carrying Kylie, plus about 2 carry ons each.  We made it to our gate, but they were already boarding.

I went up to the lady and because we had a baby and lots of stuff, they let us cut line and get settled which was a GOD SEND.  I seriously wanted to kiss that airline staff person.  The flight from Hong Kong to Chicago was pretty good.  I felt like I was going home.  The food was more American, the flight attendants were more attentive and the announcements were in English first, then Mandarin. 

Kylie was WONDERFUL.  She played, slept and was fussy for just a tiny bit.  Our wheels touched down in Chicago at 12:07pm on Thursday, March 29.  That is the moment our Kylie became a US Citizen!

We had to go through customs and immigrations with the big top secret brown, sealed envelope of Kylie's paperwork.  The minute we stepped through the door at customs, the sweetest site ever met my eyes...I wish I had gotten a photo but it was the LAST thing on my mind...

So this photo will have to do.  I was SO. SO. SO. happy to see Steve and Katie standing there waiting on us.  The best decision I made about this whole trip was having Steve meet us in Chicago.  There just aren't words to describe how happy I was to see him there.  No.  Words.

And Kylie took right up with him.  No fear.  Just pure infatuation on both their parts.

Our flight departing Chicago was on time and we landed about 6:10ish in Nashville...but those are some special pictures....my friend Samantha Byers documented our homecoming in Nashville and it deserves a post of it's own...and there were others there with their cameras....so here's a sneak peek...

Ah yes. 

HOME.

How are we doing? Part II

We are now nearly 2 weeks home...so the question we get all the time is how are we doing.

At the risk of jinxing things, we seemed to have turned a corner.  Kylie LOVES the bath.  Let me give you a small taste of just HOW much she loves it...

We weren't really sure what to expect because we only gave her a few baths in the sink in China.  And they were super fast out of necessity.

Kylie has gone from not sleeping at all anywhere to sleeping on the couch in the living room downstairs.  Steve and I spent probably 1/2 a week swapping up who would sleep on the recliner.  The other would take the bed.  We'd shut the bedroom door so we couldn't hear if she was crying downstairs.  This finally gave us the much needed rest we needed.  Then, he moved her to the pack n play downstairs and we took turns sleeping on the couch.  The couch was not my friend.  My night was Saturday before Easter and it was pretty miserable.  But I determined not to let Satan ruin that wonderful day and God blessed me with an extra measure of restfulness.

Kylie is now sleeping in her pack n play upstairs in our bedroom.  Last night was my "on" night and I didn't have to get up with her until about 1:45am.  I was able to pat her back to sleep.  She woke up again at 5:30am soaked through her diaper.  I changed her and held her in bed with me.  She fell back asleep and Steve got up to take Jenna to school (whoever is "on" during the night, the other does morning drop off) and I laid her on the bed next to me where we slept until 8am!  Praise!

So, we are doing better.  However, we are spending LOTS of time together at home so we feel like we are constantly entertaining her so we can bond.  And we are.  Pretty much one of us is holding, talking to, feeding, changing or playing with her.  So it is wearing on us.  We have been blessed by many, MANY meals from friends at church and that has been a LIFESAVER.  Each meal is delicious and delivered with much love for our sweet girl.  I will never be able to thank all the families that have assisted us in this way.  I plan to pay it forward as I can.

I got an email yesterday from a friend asking what we need and how we ended up on our fundraising.  I thought if she had those questions, my readers might too, so I'll answer them here.

We continue to need lots of prayers because this is hard.  In terms of physical needs, if you know of someone looking to get rid of 12 month girl clothes that are summer season, let me know.  Not knowing what size she was, we bought limited clothes.  She can wear 9 month, but will soon outgrow those.  I might take a trip to the local consignment store soon.  We have borrowed so much stuff from friends...we have been blessed.

As for our fundraising, after travel, we have about $9000 in travel expenses on our credit card.  I anticipate an adoption reimbursement from work in the amount of $4500, so that will cover about 1/2, after taxes.  We have two grants that we have not heard from and who will grant to families that have already traveled.  We should hear from them soon and we are praying hard that we are granted something from them.  If not, we will complete this adoption with about $4500 debt, which is pretty darn good.  Continue to pray for God's provision in this.

So that's the update from the Taylor household...now we are off to enjoy some dinner, ala KFC courtesy of our friends, the Millsaps.

Oh and if you have a chance, say a prayer for Steve's dad.  He is in congestive heart failure and the next 24/48 hours are critical.

Trying to finish up China...

I'm so behind, so I appreciate your patience!  Last you read, we had visited the safari park in Guangzhou.  After that, we had some time at the hotel to rest and have lunch and then it was off to the famous Shamian Island for shopping.

We bought several souvenirs and then met up with several of our traveling families for dinner at Lucy's.  Lucy's is well known to adoptive families as being the best place to get American food.

I had a cheeseburger and while I thought it was good, I don't think everyone else loved what they had.  We ended up going back to the island the next day after our consulate appointment.

Our appointment started out rocky because *someone* was late.  And yes, after they told us not to be late, because if we were the bus would leave us and we'd have to find our own way there.  In my defense, we were on the 22nd floor and it took 10 minutes to get an elevator up and down.  But yes, my guide was furious with me.  However, in the end, we got there on time and all was well.  The consulate doesn't allow videos or cameras so there's nothing for me to post.  It was a very non-event.  We went in and the entire room stood up to swear we would give accurate information.  Then, you waited for your name to be called and then went up to the window with your paperwork, signed some stuff and then you were done.

After we did that, several families went back to Shamian Island to finish shopping.  Our main goal was shoe shopping at Sherry's!

Deanne was not as interested in the kid shoe shopping as I was, so she waited outside with the strollers while we shopped inside.

We also got some pics around the island that I had wanted the day before but wasn't able to get.

After shopping, we caught a taxi back to the hotel and then rested until our evening dinner cruise.  We had been warned that the food wasn't great, so we ate a very late lunch.  I didn't eat anything on the cruise, but Jenna and Deanne did.  Kylie even enjoyed some food.  The dinner cruise was a great opportunity for me to catch some of the beautiful sights of Guangzhou at night...

It was a late night, but it was a good one. It was our last evening in Guangzhou...Wednesday afternoon, Kylie's visa would be picked up which would be the last thing we needed to fly home!

More China (sigh)

I know most of you are bored from the China posts now that we are home.  I need to get it journaled and trust me, there's not a whole lot going on here to blog about.  In terms of sleep, last night was better than what we were dealing with a few nights ago, but it wasn't as good as the past few nights.  It was my night in the recliner and Kylie just seemed like she couldn't get comfortable.  We are going to try the pack n play down here tonight (maybe).  We are making tiny baby steps, which is fine...but this mama is ready for a jump.  :)

So, Monday in China, we got up and after a quick check of the older kids' TB tests (Kylie was young enough that she didn't have to have it), we were on the way to the Safari Park!

The problem in going places in China was that Kylie HATED the stroller.  We borrowed one from the hotel and she just didn't care for it.  So we either had to carry her, or I had to strap her to me, which was fine, but after hours on my feet with 20 extra pounds, my back would start to kill me.  Luckily Deanne is more used to toting around kids, so she was a huge help.

The first thing we did at the safari park is ride a little cart around and see some of the animals, so Kylie didn't have to tolerate the stroller for long.  :)  I am not sure she was loving the ride either, but it beat the stroller.

There were plenty of animals to see as we rode by...I wish I'd had my zoom lens, but that never made it out of the camera bag. :(

The camels were neat to see...just weird seeing the in China I guess.

But of course, the biggest thing we were all waiting to see in the safari park was the pandas!  Again, this is one time I wish I had my zoom lens, but I got some good shots anyway.

Finally Kylie decided she liked the stroller OK.  I guess if I could ride around like this, I'd like a stroller too!

Please note, it wasn't too long after this until she had a meltdown and we had to take her out.  We were about 20 minutes from having to meet the group back at the front anyway, so we headed back and Deanne sat with Kylie with Jenna and I explored some more on our own.

After the safari park, we headed back to the hotel to eat lunch (which was delicious compared to what we'd had so far) and rest a bit before the shopping trip later that afternoon. 

More China pics...and a sleep update

I'll start out with the sleep update since that's the first thing on my mind right now.  Last night was Steve's night in the recliner and Kylie's second night on the couch.  I went to bed being afraid that Kylie would not sleep as well for Steve and that I'd feel guilty.

I went to bed at 10pm praying that God would allow both of them a good night's rest.  Well.  I woke up 8 hours later when the alarm went off, dressed, brushed my teeth and then Jenna and I tiptoed downstairs.  Kylie was still on the couch!  She slept from 9pm to 12:30 on the couch, then got restless and he held her on him until 1:30.  Then put her back down and she slept until after we left for school at 6:30.  He held her until 8:30 and then we made her wake up to start her day.  :)  We are both feeling better and more hopeful, but keep praying that this is just the beginning.

OK, back to China.  I last left you, we had shoped at the jade and pearl market in Guangzhou.  That was Sunday.  That evening before dinner, we did a group picture of our travel group.  Unfortunately, you can't see us in the picture, but I'm posting it anyway so you can see the wonderful group of people we traveled with...

Everyone that had traditional Chinese dresses put their kids in them and got pics too.  I had Kylie and Jenna's outfit but didn't have ours yet, but Deanne got a couple good ones of us.

Here is a picture of Jenna's new friends...

This is the Hennesey girls.  The older girl was adopted this trip (along with a baby a tiny bit older than Kylie).  She is such a sweet girl.

So that's it for this post.  Monday started out with the safari park...more on that...

Sleep...

This will be quick because I'm about to head to bed.

I will apologize in advance for the lack of posts here.  I know I have several days in China to blog about and tons of pictures and videos to upload and share, but right now, we are just...surviving.

I'm not usually one to complain, but these past days have been the hardest I have ever experienced in my life.

I won't go into details because I have done, said and thought things I am not proud of, but sleep deprivation can do that to a person.  Kylie is not the sleeper here that she was in China.  And yes, if you can suggest it, we have tried it.

We have gotten progressively less and less sleep each night.  Last night, we put her on the couch to sleep (where she has been taking naps) and I slept in the recliner while Steve took the bed (with the door closed) and she slept from 10 until about 3:30 when she had to be picked up and held the rest of the night.  So I got several hours, which is better than the coupe I'd been getting.  We hope we are turning a corner, but I'm scared to hope.

The past few days I have cried harder and more often than I have in my entire life.  I have prayed harder than I have my entire life.

So, pray.  Pray hard that this is the first of many better nights.  Steve has the recliner tonight.  I have the bed.  I won't lie.  I'm looking forward to it.  But already feeling guilty if she doesn't sleep as well.  I'm praying hard too.

I'll be back on here soon.  Until then, thanks for your prayers.

China-day 2 in Guangzhou

After our busy day on Saturday, Sunday we met up and went to the pearl and jade markets.  Kylie felt much better which was great!

We had already visited the jade market back in Beijing, so we went straight to the pearl market.

Unfortunately, we figured out rather quickly that Kylie is not a fan of the stroller. But between us an our guide, I was able to make a great purchase of two pearl bracelets...one for Jenna and one for Kylie.

We bought some pretty neat souvenirs there at the mall.  Then after, it was back to the hotel to rest a bit before dinner.  This was the night were we went to a group dinner.  I originally said it was the night before, but that night Jenna and I went to dinner at Pizza Hut with our new friends Jill and Scott and their newest addition, Hannah.  I went with just Jenna because that was the night Kylie was running a fever and Deanne thought I needed some time away.  Boy was she right.

So that brings us up to Monday...

How are we doing?

So we keep getting this question, so I thought I'd write a quick post about how we are doing, 3 days home.

The days are pretty good.  I am nearly back to US time.  I still feel tired early at night.  For example, I went to bed last night at 8:45pm.

Part of that is because Kylie goes to bed between 8-9pm.  She sleeps really well (usually) until about 2-3am and then she wakes up and regardless of the reason why (wet, dirty, cold, on her back etc.), it takes 2-3 hours to get her back to sleep.  So for the last 3 nights, all 4 of us have been up from about 2-3 hours between 2-5am.  Then she goes back to sleep and will sleep until 9-10am.  So we are catching up on our sleep, but it makes for a weird day when you are getting breakfast at lunchtime etc.

It is awful being up in the middle of the night again.  And fatigue, like I said before, makes a person somewhat crazy and way less patient.  I have had thoughts that I would be embarrassed to admit to in the wee hours of the morning.  Having a newborn is hard.  But having a one year old on about a 9 month old level dropped in your life is even harder.  Complicating matters is the fact that we haven't done this in 10 years.  We didn't have 9 months of "What to Expect when You're Expecting"...we read blogs.  MANY blogs.  But so many of them paint this rosy picture of life at home so that's what we were expecting as well.

And yes, when she wakes up all smiles and laughs and reaching for you...it does seem worth it.  But when you are in that wonderful deep sleep and you wake up to screams and it just goes on and on and on, it just seems like more than you can bear.

But Steve and I are a team and if it's possible, I think we are closer now than before.  We have a game plan for tonight since Jenna is back to school tomorrow.  And we are on our faces before God praying for that extra endurance.  Last night, the thought crossed my mind, "I. CAN'T. DO. THIS."  And through my tears I heard God say back, "I know.  But I can."  So we are joining ourselves to Him and praying knowing this too shall pass.

Should you be an adoptive family also struggling, please know you are NOT alone.  Some blogs seem so picture perfect, but it is not always that way.  Like anything worth having, it's not easy, but it can be easier knowing you aren't alone.  Whatever you are feeling, there are others who have been there and felt that.  Please reach out to those who have been there and survived.

If you are a family contemplating adoption, go into it knowing that the paperchase is the easy part (although I'll be the first to tell you it sure didn't seem like it!).  But if it it what God ordained for your family, then He will give you what you need to make it through it.

I go to bed tonight knowing an early morning commute awaits.  Steve readies for bed tonight knowing that an even earlier morning waits for him (most likely).  But we are praying together tonight for endurance.  And for those less than perfect nights to lead to perfect days.  Days that will make these long nights fade into the background.

China-Trying to catch up

Let's see, so last post, we were just about ready to leave Nanjing for Guangzhou...

We flew out on Friday afternoon about 4:45pm and our flight was delayed slightly.  We finally landed in Guangzhou and boarded a huge bus.  We circled around and picked up several other families who had landed from other flights.

We finally got checked in late and our room was SO much nicer than the other hotels.

We settled in and prepared for the next day's adventure...the medical exam.  I have heard another blogger refer to this similar to hell and it was close.

There were probably close to 100 adoptive families, if not more, all crammed into a much-too-small room with what felt like no air.

After about 2 hours, we were done and cleared from a medical standpoint, which really doesn't mean anything except she didn't have any seriously contagious disease.  However, that evening when we finally settled at the hotel, she had a fever of over 100.  I started her on antibiotics because after thinking about her symptoms, I was pretty sure she had an infection...either ear or sinus.

After the medical exam, we had the afternoon free until dinner.  We went to dinner as a group at a local restaurant.  It was just OK and afterwards, we and some friends walked to the WalMart to get some supplies.  That was an adventure, but it was so nice to spend time with new friends.  Kylie slept better after the antibiotics and so I was very glad we gave them to her.

We go to bed as soon as she falls asleep because we are so exhausted after the long, active days.  At this point, we are read for home...

More to come...



Now that we are home...

Now that we are home, I thought I'd say a few words about where we are, where Kylie is and where you all fit in the picture.

If you missed this post, be sure and read it first.  Having that groundwork will help you understand what we are going through and what we are trying to do.

Kylie is a very happy child.  But being so happy means everyone is her friend.  Especially if you are standing and we are not.  :)  She wants to be moving ALL.  THE.  TIME.  So if we are sitting down with her or if she is sitting anywhere and you are standing, she's going to want to come to you because you are more fun if you are up moving around.

This worked in our favor so far because it allowed me to accept help from Deanne and Jenna while in China so I didn't have to do it all.  But now that we are home, Steve and I need to work hard on bonding with her.  She needs to know everyone loves her, but she needs to know that Steve and I are more than just "nannies".  We have to establish ourselves as her Mommy and Daddy. 

Last night, Kylie didn't sleep well at all.  I'm sure that is partially due to the fact that her days and nights are mixed up.  She could still be on China time and we are all trying to get back on the right schedule, especially Jenna because she has to go to school on Monday.

So what does this mean for you?  Are we accepting visitors?  YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!  I have spent 2 weeks away from the best friends and family a girl could ask for and I'm thrilled if you want to come spend time with us.  We do ask that you call, text or email and ask if it's OK to come.  Please don't just drop in.  This is for a couple of reasons...we are also trying to get back on a sleep schedule which could mean a nap or two is in order.  Also, if you drop in just to see Kylie and she is asleep, then you wouldn't get to see her in action.  So just let us know if you want to drop by.  We'll tell you if it's OK.  And most times it will be.

When you are here, do not ask to hold Kylie.  We are trying to limit holding to just Steve, Jenna and I to facilitate bonding.  You can absolutely talk to her, call her name, take pictures, rub her back, head or hand and even pinch her cheeks (they are irresistible).  Try not to say "boo!" to her.  I know that sounds silly but you don't realize how much you say that to a baby until you are trying not to.  "Bu" in Mandarin means "no", so when you say "Boo!" to her, she thinks you are telling her "no".  As she learns English, that will resolve itself.  Also, try not to clap your hands to her.  This is what her nannies in the orphanage did when they wanted her to come to them.  So when you clap your hands, she thinks you are asking to pick her up.

And please don't take it personally if I don't answer the phone, immediately return an email or text or say it's not a good time for a visit!  It's NOT personal!  Oh, and if you haven't gotten a thank you note from me, I'd appreciate some grace.  I'm getting around to it!

So, enough of the don'ts, let's talk about the do's!

DO feel free to talk to Kylie and try to make her smile.  She's a happy baby and loves to smile.  She needs to know you are a friendly face.

DO text, email, call, comment on the blog or visit.  I have spent two weeks away from those I love most.  I welcome seeing you all.

DO remember that Jenna is also our child.  She also experienced two weeks without everything familiar, saw scary things in China, missed her friends, ate few familiar foods and missed home like crazy.  So many of you have gone the extra mile to make her feel special and I can't thank you enough!  Keep that up!

DO keep praying for us.  Your prayers literally carried us through this trip.  I can hardly believe we are on this side.  But we still need your prayers desperately.  So, please keep praying.  We are trying to adjust in a variety of ways. 

DO keep checking the blog!  I am going to catch up on my China posts.  I hope to put some video on here too. 

I can't tell you enough how much I appreciated the comments, emails, scriptures etc. that you sent while I was in China.  There is no way we could have made it those two weeks without your prayers and encouragement.  It was probably the hardest thing I'd ever done.  And we are still a work in progress.

I'm off to feed Kylie some dinner!  Wish us a more restful night tonight!

Coming Home Soon!!!

We are waiting to board our flight from Chicago to Nashville. It leaves at 4:50 and should land around 6:17pm in Nashville.

We welcome anyone who might wish to come to the airport to see us. We are so excited to be home!!

Kylie did great on the flight from Hong Kong and we are so thankful for your prayers.

One more short flight and drive home and we will be home for real! Sweet Kylie is already asleep again on Steve so pray she will get on a decent sleep schedule.

We are headed home!

We are waiting on the bellman to come up and take our suitcases to the van.  After a short ride, we will be at the Hong Kong airport and ready to head home.

Our flight leaves at 11:10am Hong Kong time.  As of now, it's on time.  There are a few last minute prayer requests...

Kylie is in a great mood this morning.  Pray this continues through the flight and that her ears do not hurt.  Pray this for Jenna, Deanne and I too.

Pray that our flight really does leave on time.

Pray that our flight is uneventful and that we all stay calm on the flight.

Pray that our flight to Nashville from Chicago is a good one and ON TIME.

PRAY PRAY PRAY!

We are almost home!!!

On the way home....

We are getting ready to get on a van for a 3 hour ride to Hong Kong.  We will then stay one night in Hong Kong and board an 11am flight there bound for Chicago!  There is no way to say how excited we all are to be coming home finally!  This has been the longest trip and I'm so ready to be home with Steve and my friends.

If you have emailed me, texted me or tried to Skype me and couldn't reach me, please believe it is not personal.  I have barely had time to blog, much less Skype, checked facebook etc.  But believe me when I say I am missing each and every one of you.  The emails with scriptures, positive thoughts and prayers have helped more than you know.

If I can be so bold as to ask...please pray very hard for our trip home.  Kylie is a good baby but she likes to be up and about.  Sitting on a plane for 14 hours has the potential to be miserable.  Pray for our safety, our sanity, our health and that Kylie's ears will not bother her.  Cleft babies are known for having ear infections until they get tubes, so please pray that her ears will not hurt on the plane.

It's going to be a long day tomorrow and I'm going to need all the prayers I can get.  It will be 10pm Wednesday night US time when we leave Hong Kong.  We will land in Nashville (barring any delays) at 6:17pm Thursday night.  We welcome anyone and everyone to come see us in.  I'll be a blubbering mess I'm sure.  I can't wait to see your faces.

WE ARE COMING HOME!!!

China-Day...Oh whatever!

I have no idea what day it is half the time here or what day I'm supposed to be blogging about.  I will tell you the days have gotten faster and I love it much more here in Guangzhou. 

I will tell you that miracle of all miracles, despite the orphanage instructions to put Kylie on her back to sleep, she sleeps very soundly on her tummy.  We put her down last night on her tummy and she was asleep in seconds.  She went down about 9:30 and slept without a peep until almost 7am!!  PRAISE!  We all needed that rest!  So keep those prayers coming!  They are working.

Yesterday's post was about the orphanage.  That brings us up to Thursday of last week.  Unfortunately, it was rainy all day on Thursday.  Since we'd had a long day on Wednesday, we didn't start our city tour of Nanjing (the capital city of Kylie's province, Jiangsu) until later in the day.  Despite the rain, we went anyway.

The city wall goes around Nanjing and I'm sure there's a lot of other interesting stuff about it, but the rain really kicked up and it was freezing, so I didn't get much of what our guide was seeing.

So, just because I don't have anything more interesting about this day to say, I'm leaving you with the picture above of Kylie.  This was taken later, but she is such a happy baby.

Also, several of you have asked about how Jenna is doing.  I worried a lot about her on the long fight to Beijing, but she was WONDERFUL.  Never fussed or argued or complained.  And she has been way better than I could EVER ask for while here.  She stays close to me all the time (it's very crowded here) and she is SUCH a huge help.  She totes Kylie or her stuff her fair share and she is way more patient than I even am!  I have not for one milli-second regretted bringing her.  It was the best decision ever.  I'm so glad she's here.  In fact, my favorite time of day is about to happen...SLEEP!  We have a tiny bed, but we snuggle up together and it makes me less home sick.

More to come...

Finally a real update

I finally have a few minutes to get on here and keep going with what's going on with us rather than whining about how hard it is.  :)  It IS hard.  Last night wasn't great, but it was slightly better.  I got a few hours rest.  We keep trying different things so maybe we'll figure something out.

OK, where was I???  Oh yeah, according to China, she is definitely ours.  We signed those papers on Tuesday.  Wednesday in Nanjing, we went to visit the orphanage.  We went by van and it was 4 hours there, but she slept about 1/2 of the way there.  The orphanage was nice, but so freezing cold.

The orphanage is run by Half The Sky Foundation which is marvelous in what it does to help orphanage staff and children.  It was clear that Kylie was loved VERY much by the orphanage staff.

I really didn't want them to take her from me, but I wanted to get photos and they were just so loving to her.  Plus, as you have learned, I've thrown all the bonding stuff out the window while I'm here.  I'm in survival mode (thanks to SO many of you who commented and said it was OK to be).  Here is the room she spent much of her time in.

We did find out that Kylie was in foster care from mid-November to just a few days before we arrived.  Her foster mom had just left the orphanage when we arrived, so the director called for her to come back.  Kylie clearly loved this woman and this woman loved her.

Here is Kylie with her foster sister.  This child is about 2 years old and has no special need.  I never understood why she is not up for adoption yet, but I would love to be able to bring her home.  But, that is likely not in the cards for us.  I pray she will find her forever family someday soon.

We were able to take pictures of some other children waiting on their adoptive families.  If you are one of those moms, hang tight, I'll get you the pics.  I know how precious those were to me so we got both pics and videos.

After we did a short tour of the orphanage, they took us for snacks. After snacks, we went to lunch with the orphanage staff.  There was tons of food...WEIRD food.  Blow fish, octopus, chicken, rice, and other things I can't remember right now.  It took about 2 hours and there were tons of people there.  There were no high chairs (there is a lack of them in this entire country it seems) and so the orphanage nannies held her the entire time we were eating (or in my case, NOT eating) and fed her all sorts of food.  Imagine our surprise since they told us she was only on formula!  We have learned quickly that not all the information we received is accurate. 

Anyway, we could not get out of there fast enough.  We were not able to go to her finding place because it was another 90 minutes from where the orphanage was.  We do know that the place she was found was a restaurant in the countryside and she was most likely left because of her cleft and that her mom could not afford to have it repaired.

It was another long drive back to the hotel but Kylie slept some of the way.  We were very glad to get back!

A quick update

This update is going to be quick because I need to get out and get some lunch.  I have barely eaten a meal since we got here.

We are now in Guangzhou and have done the first part of making Kylie ours forever.  I promise I will get some blogs up...maybe this afternoon.

The night after my last post was better.  She whimpered several times in the night but I learned that I could just reach through the slats on my bed and pat her and she'd go right back to sleep.  I think we got about 7 hours of sleep. 

Then yesterday, we left the hotel at 2pm and boarded the plane to Guangzhou.  That flight wasn't too bad.  She cried just a bit.  But by the time we landed, got through the airport, retrieved our luggage, walked 9 miles to our bus, picked up a bunch of other families, got to the hotel and checked in, it was way past her bedtime, past her eating time etc.  She had already fallen asleep but I changed her clothes, her diaper and fed her a bottle.

Then the real fun began.  She screamed off and on the ENTIRE NIGHT.  Now she will not be put down EVER.  We borrowed a stroller from the hotel this morning and she screamed bloody murder.  It appears that for her to sleep we'll have to take shifts holding her.  She won't lay down in bed with me and the beds here are not nearly big enough.

There were tons of emails and comments from my last post and I can't tell you how much they help.  I have allowed Deanne (my sister in law) to help.  In fact, she got up almost every time last night to try and get Kylie back to sleep.

I'm not as exhausted, but I sure am ready for the hard part to be over (and yes, I know we are only at the beginning).

More later...I promise.

This is hard.

I'm sorry I've missed a day or two of posting.  Quite frankly this journey has turned hard and I'm exhausted.

We got up very early yesterday to visit the orphanage.  It is about 4 hours away, so we had to meet our guide downstairs at 7am.  I haven't been eating much because honestly, I simply don't care for the food.  Plus, our hotel doesn't have many baby high chairs, so I am constantly trying to wrangle a wiggling baby while eating.  It's my new weight loss plan.

For bonding reasons, I am supposed to be the only one meeting her needs such as picking her up while she's crying, feeding her, changing her etc.  That is all well and good, but when you don't have your spouse here, it's absolutely exhausting.  I'll do a separate post about the orphanage visit and what we did today (Thursday), which wasn't much, but this post, I want to talk about what is going on with us here.  I definitely need your prayers.

Kylie is a very smart and happy child.  It is clear from the reaction of the orphanage staff to her that she was very well liked and cared for.  I also found out that in mid-November, they sent her to foster care so she would have more direct care after her lip surgery.  She was with a foster family until just a few days before we came to get her.

Because Kylie is so happy and everyone loved her, she will go to anyone at all.  Anyone that is standing up or moving around.  She is in constant motion.  I wish I were exaggerating, but I'm not.  She literally does not sit still EVER.  When you are the only one able to care for her, this gets old really quick.

Anyway, we had a super early morning yesterday and a grand total of 8 hours in the van to and from the orphanage.  Much to my dismay and against my wishes and better judgment, the orphanage staff took Kylie, fed her and loved on her.  It was distressing, but very quickly I learned that I had to chill out about it.  The orphanage staff was very hospitable and served us a huge feast most of which none of us would even try.  (I will do a post on that I promise).  Anyway, despite the fact that we were all exhausted yesterday, I put Kylie down at 8pm and she was awake at 1am for a bottle.  She took that very well but when I put her back down, she would cry.  After about an hour of this, I was absolutely exhausted.  I was up from 1 until about 5am after getting very little sleep the night before.

And when I am exhausted to that point, it isn't pretty.  I spent most of the morning crying.  Every time someone was nice, I started to cry.  Finally I decided that even though I was not following all the books on bonding, I was going to have to have some  help.  At 5am, Deanne got up and took Kylie from me (who was sleeping soundly) and let me sleep about an hour.  After breakfast, we didn't have plans so we came back up to the room where Deanne took her again and I got maybe 2 or 2 1/2 hours of nap.

Tonight, I'm exhausted again and dread the night ahead.  We have the morning free tomorrow and we leave at 2pm to head to the airport to go to Guangzhou.  We have one more week in China and I cannot wait to get back home where the people I love are, everywhere you go doesn't smell like cigarette smoke and everyone speaks my language.

I have always said that adoption is not for the faint hearted.  The waits are horrible.  And while I was waiting, I would have given anything to be here getting Kylie.  But the long waits are nothing compared to this.  This journey is so many times sensationalized.  You have Gotcha Day with all it's excitement and then the signing of the papers and all that entails.  You do occasionally see the hard parts with grieving, but the exhaustion is nearly unbearable.

Well, I have a crying baby wanting a bottle.  More to come...