A few weeks ago, we had to sit down with our pastor for an "interview" as part of us applying for a grant to help with adoption expenses.
During our time together, I mentioned how I could fill a book with all the ways God has taken care of us during the two years Steve has been unemployed. About how time after time, God has always provided just what we needed but then the minute something comes up, I immediately start to worry how we are going to make ends meet etc. I told our pastor, I felt like the father in Mark 9 who brings his ill son to Jesus for healing. As the father speaks with Jesus, he says, "But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us." (v.22) Jesus then says (v.23) "'If you can'? Everything is possible for one who believes." And the next verse describes me completely:
"Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”
It's like I look back at all the times God has provided and then immediately doubt and have to exclaim, HELP ME OVERCOME MY UNBELIEF!
After this, my pastor told me something that I think is worth repeating. He said in the Bible where it refers to having faith the size of a mustard seed, but that can move mountains (Matthew 17:20), when Jesus was speaking , he was standing in front of a man-made mountain. One that the leadership at the time had ordered built. Back in that day, there were no bulldozers or large earth-moving equipment to build such a mountain. So how did they do it?
They took a shovelful of dirt from one place to another. One shovelful at a time until the mountain was built. His point was that sometimes all we can do is get through this day, this minute a bucketful of faith at a time. Praying that just for today, God will ease my worries about our finances (or lack thereof!) by filling up my bucket with faith. And then asking for another bucketful for the next worry or concern. And then moving the mountain of worry in my life just one bucketful of faith at a time.
I have tried to keep this in mind over the past few weeks and it really does help.
Sometimes all you need is just one bucketful of faith.