Sleeping

Probably the most asked about thing we've had with Kylie is her sleeping.  We had kind of a bumpy, yet normal, start.

But she's doing much better now.  Most days if she naps, it's going to be in the car.  Whether it's 15 minutes or 2 hours, that is all she does.  She goes to sleep in her bed each night around 8pm though some nights it's later (like the weekends) and whereas we used to tiptoe around the house after bedtime, now we realize she sleeps pretty hard.  She doesn't wake up with the thunder and lightening or minor noises.  We do have the ipod going on low and the humidifier runs all night, mostly as white noise.  Then we have a 30 minute music bug.  Once she's asleep, she usually doesn't wake up till about 8:00 or 8:30 in the morning.

This is an older photo because she rarely sleeps in her bed.  Some weekends I'll hold her until she falls asleep (because I never get to hold her while she's sleeping...the girl is ALWAYS on the go!) and then can put her in her bed.  I will typically sit in her room until she wakes up using a number of excuses, but really it's the ONLY quiet time I get.  And to me, it's the best of both worlds.  I can read, blog, do Bible study, pray AND be near my girl. 

Recently, she's been known to fall asleep in her high chair at lunch.  In this photo, she was trying to finish up her favorite cookie, Nilla Wafers.  She just wasn't willing to part with the cookie!  But Steve did finally get her out of her chair and put her on the couch where she slept for more than an hour!  (and yes, her hair is getting long!  I'm just waiting on it to get long enough to even it all out before we let it grow long).

So, all in all, this baby girl plays hard and sleeps well.  Some days are better than others.  If she has a really good nap, she is usually in a great mood after.   No complaints there.

What's up?

This one is gonna be quick (yeah right) because I need to get some rest tonight.  I've been working hard on something pretty cool that I think you will enjoy and so I've spent too many nights staying up past my bedtime!!  More about that below.

I get the question all the time about how Kylie is doing.  There's a bunch to tell but I never remember to write it down.  Tonight is the night.  :)

Kylie had the croup a few weeks ago.  Luckily we caught it early and so there was no middle of the night coughing fits.  If you've ever experienced the croup, you apparently know exactly what I'm talking about.  Honestly, I'm not 100% certain the doctor was right on that though.  (for the record, we did not see our regular pediatrician because she was a work-in).  At any rate, the steroids they gave her for 3 days seems to get rid of most of the cough. 

We had our follow up appointment today for the rest of the flu shot and Kylie weighed in at 23lbs 13oz which is over a pound more than what she weighed at the doctor visit about 2 weeks ago!  She is apparently going through a growth spurt because she's going to sleep at 8pm, sometimes napping during the day and then sleeping until 8:30 or 9 in the morning.  She's also eating like there's no tomorrow.

Her palate surgery appears to have been quite the success!  She just has the one tiny hole at the front which he left on purpose to allow for growth.  They'll close that up when she's 4 or 5.  She had maybe 4 teeth when she came home almost 7 months ago now (HOLY COW.  7 months???) and she has all but her eye teeth (?) now.  There are several out of place, like her front teeth and one on the cleft side, but for the most part, they look to almost be in the right spots.  I'm starting an orthodontia fund now.

Kylie's speech therapy is going well.  She's working on lots of other words and she is attempting to say words although they don't sound clear to us and so many times it is easier and less frustrating for her to grunt, point, sign or whine for what she wants.  But we are working on it.

We started letting Kylie use a regular spoon instead of the baby ones and it seems to have helped tremendously.  She is also starting to use her hands with some foods (like mashed potatoes) and that is apparently a good tactile activity according to the EI teacher.  It gets a wee bit messy at times...

She has also started taking our hands when she wants something and leading us to it.  It is the sweetest thing.  Like she's saying "Come here!!"

Kylie is now in the 50%ile in weight!!!  That makes this mama's heart happy, although she is still in 12-18 month clothes and size 3 diapers.  It's good because there are a lot of 12-18 month winter clothes that I was thinking she might not get to wear.  We finally had her feet measured to be sure we had her in the right size shoes (we have TONS of hand me downs) and sure enough, size 3 is right.  I sent Steve out to buy her a new pair...

Yep...they are red Converse.  And she can ROCK. THEM.  I was so surprised that Steve would have chosen such shoes, but so very proud of him.  Clearly she thought they were pretty cool too.

He also does a pretty good job at dressing her every day.  This is one of the first fall/winter outfits she's been able to wear.

Kylie also likes to watch TV with her favorite shows being Bubble Guppies, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Doc McStuffins and Dora the Explorer, in that order.  She usually watches a few minutes and then does something else, then watches more and does something else.  She'll usually come grab my hand, pull me over to the living room, pick up the remote control and grunt at me with it.

Many of these pics come to me during the day while I'm at work via Steve's iPhone.  I love that he keeps me updated during the day.

The closer Kylie gets to 2 years old the more we see her starting to throw fits when she doesn't get her way.  We sit in time out every once in a while, but usually  not even the 1 minute.  She'll scream and cry for about 15-30 seconds and I'll say, "When you are all done crying, let me know."  She'll usually immediately stop and sign "all done" and I'll go pick her up.  She can definitely turn it off and on.  I think we are going to have our work cut out for her.

In general, she is a happy and hilarious child.  She continues to love the nursery and being around other kids.  She doesn't like us to leave her, but what child this age does?  She only cries a second and she squeals like nuts when we show back up.  It's hilarious and makes me so happy and I really need to video it and post it.

So that's what we are up to.  And guess what?  I have nearly finished her Gotcha Day video!!!!  I am hoping to have it posted on Friday, so please be sure to come back and watch it when you have a few minutes.  If you are not familiar with a Gotcha Day video, it's usually a montage of photos and some video set to music which tells the story of the adoption journey culminating in the moment you get your child.  Ours contains never published before video of the VERY MOMENT I held Kylie for the first time.  You definitely don't want to miss it.  Come back Friday!!!

Where's Mom?

The link to this story has been reposted multiple times on Facebook over the past few days.  I had it forwarded to me by moms and moms to be eventually :) alike.

I've read the article and it's touched me as it has many other moms.   If you haven't read it yet, I encourage you to go right now and read it.

Basically it's an encouragement to moms everywhere to get out from behind the camera and get in front of it.  Because as much as we hate to think about it, we aren't going to be around forever.  And let's be honest, some of us have shorter time than others.  And you just never know.

My mom always hated being in pictures.  She never thought she looked good in them, and I'm much the same way.  She was always more concerned with making sure I was in photos, but definitely not herself.

And when she died at 55 years old, I was only 18.  I have a small photo album of all the pictures she is in.  A SMALL ALBUM.  That's all I have left of her.  Because the pictures in my memory have faded over the last 20 years.  I have a couple pictures of my mother when she was young and I absolutely TREASURE them.  I never got old enough to be curious about my mother when she was young and the opportunity slipped away from me.  I don't want my girls to end up like that.  Sitting around wondering what my young life was like and wishing they had more pictures with me in them.

So, here is my start.  A grainy, iPhone photo of me and Kylie. 

She's eating mashed potatoes and I am already in my PJs (though you can't really tell).  There are others of Jenna and I but we'll save those for another day, another post.

I encourage you...married or single...moms, moms in waiting or moms to be...dads...whoever you are...get out from behind the camera and get in front of it every once in a while.  There are people who love you and want to rememer you living life.

More progress!

Another good sign of progress in Kylie...

She is starting to want to take control of all her eating and drinking and it can be kinda messy...but fun.  :)  Our girl is making GREAT strides!

Joy In The Sacrifice

Back a few weeks ago, I was in the throes of no sleep and trying to bond with a child that I barely knew.  Many mornings I spent on the phone with our social worker trying to figure out what to do to keep myself going.  Several nights found me sobbing in the dark of the night wondering what we had done to ourselves.

One morning on my way back from dropping Jenna off at school, I decided NOT to call my social worker, but talk to God (duh...should have been doing this from the start).  I didn't just tell him how I was feeling but I listened.  My main question was "What do I do for Kylie to help her trust us?"  And He said, "Give her what she needs." 

Yeah, well, that would be great except we were already giving her everything she needed.  Everything that we could.  So I said, "HOW?"  "How do I do this?" and He gently reminded me that *I* couldn't.  And there came a phrase that I will never forget.  It was a phrase that was VERY hard for this sleep deprived Mama to swallow...

"Joy in the sacrifice".

I'm here to tell you, there was NO joy in the sacrifice at the moment.  There was NO joy in the lack of sleep...the screaming herself to sleep every night.  The never-getting-to-sleep-in-the-same-bed-as-your-spouse.  There just wasn't much joy at all in my caring for Kylie.  And a big ole DUH because obviously she could feel that I wasn't much enjoying myself.  So right there in the car, I repeated, "Joy in the sacrifice" and I decided that I would remind myself of several things when I felt myself getting frustrated...

1.  This too shall pass.  I have an almost 11 year old.  It will pass faster than I wish it to and then it will be gone.  Never to be relived again.

2.  I can't do it.  But with God I certainly can.  As I tell my friend Elizabeth all the time, "If God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it."  That is to say, you very well might not have the strength to do what God is asking you to do (whether that be adoption or something else going on in your life), but that's the precise point where God steps in and equips you through Himself to do it.

3.  We are repairing the scars of loss and abandonment Kylie experienced early on in her life.  January 31 in Jiangsu China...the average temperature in January in Lianyungang (where Kylie is thought to have been born) is 4 degrees.  FOUR DEGREES.  Imagine leaving your newborn daughter...literally hours old....in the freezing cold.  Alone.  Even in a baby, those are hurts that have to be repaired.  And we've been tasked with that job.  And keeping that in mind helps me remember what my job is here.

This adoption thing is NOT easy.  But parenting ANY child is not easy.  There are bumps along the way...uncertainties and fears.  But such is life.  So many more families out there are dealing with much worse...children with terminal illnesses or facing a terminal illness themselves.  This LIFE is not easy.  But in the end...isn't this what it is about?

JOY in the sacrifice.

That's What Friends Are For

A few weeks ago, I hung out with my friend Elizabeth and she shared with me some of her girls' outfits.  I feel like I have blogged this before, but I can't seem to find it, so if this is a repeat, just excuse me.  Interesting blog posts are hard to come by these days!!

Her little closet is getting more full!  Just look at some of these outfits....

Really?  SO CUTE.

These pictures are not great since I took them with my phone, but I'm a huge sucker for Christmas outfits.  Of course, we won't have Kylie home by this Christmas, but these are bigger sized so I hope she'll be able to fit into them next year!

A special thanks to my friend Elizabeth.  I love hanging out with her and have done so several Friday nights.  I love watching her with her girls.  She's such a good mom.

Journey On at Home

This past weekend was super busy.  It started out on Friday night hanging out with our friends the Yanceys.  That's always enjoyable except for the fact that I always watch Elizabeth with her kids and feel like a complete failure as a parent.  I am never amazed at her patience with them (they are 2 years and almost 1 year) and the way she incorporates learning about Jesus.  I'm sure Elizabeth would laugh to hear me say that and would be the first to tell you she is by no means the perfect parent, but dang, she sets the bar pretty high.  Or perhaps, it just seems high because I'm so far below it???

So, with that fresh on my mind, I was convicted to attend a parenting conference my church was putting on.  I signed up a week or so ago before my weekend got so busy.  Then by Friday night, I had decided something just had to go and it would have to be the conference.  But when I was leaving her house Friday night, Elizabeth said she was going and God really started working on me about going Saturday.

And boy am I glad I did!

Started out with a little worship which always gets me in the right frame of mind.  And then we went to break out sessions.  It was only 8:30-12:00 so it didn't take up my whole day and the sessions were SO good.  Basically it all centered around making our HOME the center of Christian influence and not just sitting back and trusting the church (and school, in our case) to do the job.

In one of our breakouts, the question was asked about who influenced you most in the faith.  Most of the people mentioned their parents or grandparents.  And they gave examples of waking up in the mornings and finding their mom or dad praying together or reading the Bible.  And I sat there wondering...in 25 years, when Jenna is asked this question, will she be able to say that??  If she were asked now, "How do you know your mom and dad love Jesus?", would she be able to give any concrete examples or just say, "They always went to church on Sunday morning."  I want to leave her with a legacy of faith.

And y'all, right now, I'm failing pretty miserably at it.  I'm not going to go into detail about how badly I'm failing, but trust me...I'm nowhere NEAR where I need to be in my spiritual/prayer life or my personal walk with God.

I noticed though that in the past several weeks, I have started to study the book, "Spiritual Parenting" during my Wednesday night class.  I have attended the Empowered to Connect seminar AND I attended this Journey On @ Home conference.  Think God might be trying to get my attention???  HELLOOOOO!!!!????  I'm about to bring a 1 year old into my home who has been institutionalized for the whole year she's been on this earth!  Perhaps now is the time to start taking some steps to become the parent God designed me to be.

I hope to share with you soon some of the changes we are making around here...but until then, just pray for me as I make these changes.  Change is always hard.  Especially where conviction is involved.

And as I learned this weekend...wherever you are right now...that is a GREAT starting place.  Won't you join me in starting to make YOUR home the center of Godly influence? 

Journey on.