I am...a rule follower
I have been trying to think about something I could do on the blog ever so often that would be interesting and different. So, after some thought, I came up with "I am..." posts. Not to be confused with I AM posts which would be ones God wrote. :) "I am..." days will be once a month posts that will tell you a little about who I am. Some of the things I am will be positive, some negative and some just matter of facts. I thought it would be a good way to help you know me and later on, help my girls know who I was too...the good, the bad and the ugly. Because, after all...all of those make up who I am.
I am...a rule follower.
And a die hard one at that. My father was a police officer and my mother was one of the most kind hearted people on the earth who always did the right thing. I never heard my mother utter a curse word in my presence (which is more than I can say for my children, unfortunately...)
When I'm filling out a form, I have to fill in every blank. Bible study books? EVERY BLANK. I have been known to write "I don't know" in a blank just to have something there. Because that's the rules, right? You are supposed to fill in the blanks!
I read Moby Dick cover to cover in high school never skipping chapters or reading the Cliff's Notes. Why? Because that was the rule.
When I was in college, do you know I never skipped a class? That's right. NEVER. My freshman year, I managed to arrange all my classes on MWF (I commuted) and the only days I missed were a Monday and Wednesday when my mom passed away and we buried her. Mmmmhmmm..you are learning way more about me today, no?
My current job (one of them) is to literally follow rules and ensure everyone around me follows them as well. Truth. That's my job. Compliance. Look it up.
For many, many years, I never broke the speed limit. I know, LAME. But remember, my dad was a cop. It was instilled in me to follow the law. And to do the "right thing" at all costs. I was also afraid of what would happen if I didn't.
And this has bled over into my spiritual life as well. I DO mess up. And I mess up ALOT. I recently broke the confidences of a friend. I was SO disappointed in myself. I had broken the rules of the friendship. And you know, I could have brushed my error under the rug and my friend probably would have NEVER known the difference. But instead, I had to confess. And I did. And she was not happy with me. And it was hard. And I couldn't fix it. But you know what comes right behind rule-followers who break the rules? INTENSE GUILT. So yeah, there's that.
So, that's just one more facet of me. I'm a rule follower. But I break the rules and mess up all the time. Thank God his grace is sufficient and his mercies are new every morning.
And lucky for me...so were my friend's.