Thanks to the wonderful work of the Design Girl (click her button below), I finally have a new look to my blog!  And it couldn't have come at a better time.  My new look makes me smile and right now, I need a little something to smile about.

Because I don't want to dwell on the sadness, I'm just going to take one paragraph to talk about the events of late.  The past two days were hard.  I've thought a lot about my brother, David.  I remember vividly thinking several years ago that I might die myself when he died.  I never would have thought it would have been this soon.  He was never serious.  I remember at my wedding, the photographer wanted to get a picture of him kissing me on the cheek and it just felt so unnatural because we never were that way with each other.  But we showed each other love in hundreds of other ways.  He was a giver.  And he couldn't have been any more excited when I got pregnant with Jenna.  I had probably 3 or 4 showers but at the end of them all, his gift to me was to buy everything, EVERYTHING, that wasn't already bought on my registry.  And from the day she came into the world, things were never the same.  He loved her and showed it in the same way he showed me.  We loved him best.  We loved him hard.  And now he's gone.  The only thing that makes this even a little bit bearable is that he is with his brother (my brother Dan who passed this June) and his mom (my mom who passed in 92) and his dad (who passed many years ago when David was only 2 years old).  They are a family again and somehow to me, that seems the way it should be.  But man am I going to miss him.  I don't know how life is going to be without him.  The world lost a grand man.  And I lost the best sibling I have ever had.

Guess that was a pretty long paragraph!  I could go on.  I have so much inside.  But some things just aren't meant to be shared.  I do appreciate all your thoughts, cards, calls, offers of help and prayers.

On a happier note, we have our final home study visit at our house this Friday.  We are very excited to be coming into the final stretch.  I almost had a come apart earlier this week.  I have worked SO HARD to get all this paperwork together before I leave for South Africa.  My philosophy was that the social worker could be writing up the home study while I was there.  But beginning of this week, things started falling apart.  Several references haven't responded yet (if this is you, RESPOND! LOL!), I haven't done the financial spreadsheets because I was waiting on something else that I haven't yet received and I had to cancel and reschedule my eye appointment which is what is holding up my doctor's letter.  Steve's doctor's letter isn't ready yet either and both need notaries which the doctor's offices do not have.  I finally had to just let it go and know that it just isn't going to get done when I wanted it to.  I am at the mercy of others and that is the way it's going to be with this process, so I might as well get used to it!  :)

Anyway, it's back to work for me tomorrow.  I have a pretty full day tomorrow and Friday.  Saturday will be spent in a mound of laundry and packing.  Then next Wednesday, I'm off to Cape Town!  I won't have access to the internet from there so I will have to journal and then post blogs when I return.

On our way home, this is what we saw...I felt like God made that just for me.

1 comment:

Stacey said...

Love the new design. I owe you a long email. Photo is beautiful. I have felt that same way like something in nature was meant for me and me only to see.