That was the heart breaking cry from my sweet, brave 7 year old this afternoon as a doctor, nurse, Steve and I held down her writhing, crying body in order to get rid of the infection threatening her body.
While we caught this infection before it got too bad, it still had turned into an abscess which had to be drained again. In case you don't remember, we've just been though this a few weeks ago. And it was just as awful then as it was today.
She was a trooper until we got back to the room and then she started being a bit clingy. They did the usual, listened to her heart, looked at her ears, nose, mouth etc. And then they confirmed that it would have to be drained. And she started whimpering. When it came time to lay down on her belly, we literally (all 4 of us) had to force her down. If you think it's hard when it's your infant or baby gets shots, you "ain't seen nothing yet". This is awful. And to make matters worse, she knew what was coming and she wasn't going easily.
But because this one was not as bad, it didn't take as long and they used a freezing solution to numb it up a little (little being the operative word). Nevertheless, I really REALLY don't want to go through this again with her. It has got to one of the hardest things to do to hold down the child you love desperately while she is being intentionally hurt (though to her benefit) and looking into her weeping eyes as she screams, "Please make them stop! I'm begging you...please stop!" There is nothing like it and I hope NONE of you ever have to do it.
However, she's a tough cookie and she bounced back. We have several meds now and she's resting.
I couldn't help but think how today was so close to how the Father deals with His children. I'm certain that He has to hold us down, kicking and screaming, "PLEASE STOP!" while we are hurting. But as the Father, He knows that even though it hurts, we must go through the pain in order to avoid "infection" and more importantly death. We look to the heavens and scream, "I'm begging you...please stop!" and just like me, He could stop the pain. I could have told the Doctor to stop...no more...I didn't want to see my precious girl in pain. However, had we stopped with the job halfway done, she would have ended up in more pain and way sicker than was ever necessary. And somewhere in her little heart, she has to trust that her Mommy would not put her through this unless it was absolutely necessary.
Just like the Father asks me to trust Him.