Oh yes, I am very much a fixer. And I had no idea I was one until I pointed out how my husband was one and he basically said, “It takes one to know one!”. The first time Steve realized he was a fixer was after we had exhausted all our fertility treatment trying for a sibling for Jenna. I still highly desired another child and could not understand why God would not remove the desire but yet not give me the one thing I wanted. (Oh, how ironic…).
We were on our way to church one Sunday morning when I was lamenting this fact and Steve just kept firing off fixes to me, “Well, maybe this” and “Maybe that” and I finally told him I just needed him to listen to me. Not to try and fix it. And the light bulb went off.
It was several years later when I was attempting to fix his current problem (whatever it was) and he pointed out to me the very same trait I’d called him on. And he was right on. I have the gifts of mercy and encouragement. And because I can feel your pain, so to speak, I also try to fix it. Just ask my friend Katelyn. I know she gets tired of telling me what is going on in her life because I am constantly trying to fix it for her…which is better know as…giving advice.
I have come to realize this about myself and try not to give unsolicited advice. But being a fixer is ingrained in who I am. It’s something I really have to watch with my kids, especially Jenna because as a mom, it can be very tempting to try and fix her problems too, which can become a problem.
I guess there are worse things…