Confessions...

Webster defines the word "overweight" as "weight over and above what is required or allowed or excessive or burdensome weight ". Well, this is my confession.

I am overweight.

I know there are readers that are more overweight than me. But since this is MY blog, this post is about me and me only.

I'm not going to tell you exactly how much I weigh, but I will tell you that I could lose 50 lbs and easily be within my "ideal" weight range. I have dieted off and on for some time and never lost much more than 10 lbs or so.

I gained quite a few pounds during the in-vitro to have Jenna and then subsequent tries for a sibling. The past few years, I have used the excuse "no point in losing weight if I'm just going to get pregnant and gain it all back" to avoid actually committing to losing. However, it's painfully clear that it's ridiculous to use THAT excuse anymore!

But I realize that if I don't take control of this problem now, then it is not going to get better and will begin to affect more than just my physical appearance. Already, I'm to the point of having to shop in specialty stores to buy jeans and I won't even tell you what a fiasco buying undergarments has become. I experience more reflux than I used to and this year I didn't ask for clothing store gift certificates for Christmas because trying on clothes is depressing enough to make me leave the stores in tears.

I know that most of you probably think I'm exaggerating and some of you just may not have ever stopped to pay attention. However, what I say is true and I need to lose weight.

Come first of the year I will join Weight Watchers again and try to lose some weight. It will not be easy and I have absolutely no will power whatsoever so that will be interesting in and of itself. But I have to do this. For my health, for my family relationships, for ME.

Right now, I don't like me. I don't like the wife I've become. I don't like the mother I've become. I don't like the PERSON I've become. There's so much change that needs to happen with me but I have to start somewhere. I have personal goals spiritually, mentally, physicially and financially. Personally, I believe if I start with changing/improving spiritually, the others will come in time.

Why am I telling you this? Because I need as much support as I can get. If you are a pray-er, then pray. If you aren't, then support me however you can...just positive thoughts will help. I'm going to need as much as I can get. Feel free to hold me accountable. Feel free to ask me how it's going. Remember, I have no willpower, so the support is welcome and needed.

Thanks for taking this journey with me.