"You sick?"

I'm sure you're wondering about my title. First, I need to preface it by saying last weekend, I was contemplating taking a nap. Of course I didn't and I started to think about how long it had been since I'd actually taken a nap. Now, I'm talking about a nap "just because". There's been a few times that I have been in bed sleeping but it's because I was sick or seriously jet-lagged from traveling around the country!

Anyway, I was thinking that it's probably been 3 years since I've napped just because I could. And of course, that led me to thinking about WHY I don't take naps anymore. I guess the main reason is because there's always something more important that needs to be done. Laundry, reading, Bible Study, cleaning etc. And so when I think about laying down, a million things pop into my head that are more important to get done than sleeping in the middle of the day.

The second reason I'll explain later. But hang on...it's going to be a long post!

So, today, because it's a long weekend and I had nothing better to do (OK, I did have lots to do, but two more days to do it in!), I decided to lay down and see if I could take a nap. Usually, Jenna comes in and asks me a question and I never really get to go to sleep or someone makes a loud noise and I wake up before I'm out good. But today, I guess all the planets aligned because I actually started to doze off. I didn't tell anyone what I was doing because that is just INVITING an interruption. After about 5 minutes, I feel someone staring at me. I open my eyes and Steve is standing over me looking concerned. He says, "You sick?" to which I replied, "No, just tired". THAT tells you how long it's been since I napped just because. It's been long enough that when Steve found me resting, he immediately thought there was something wrong with me. What exactly does that say about me? I probably don't want to go there.

And remember I told you there was another reason why I don't nap? The rest of this post is testimony to why. It's because when I do, my entire body gets out of whack. I'm not one of those people who can sleep until 9am, take a nap at noon and still go to bed at 10pm for a full 8 hours sleep. My normal routine gets me out of bed at 5:30am (and that means I'm running late) and back in bed by 10-10:30pm. On a weekend, I'm normally out of bed by 8:00 if not earlier. Getting more than 9 hours sleep makes me feel bad.

Evidence of this nap-induced craziness is the time of this post. Currently, it's 11:49pm and I'm not even close to being tired. I guess it probably didn't help that I downed a "GRANDE" (in Starbucks language) Mocha Frolatte with extra mocha, no whip cream about 6:00. A frolatte is, by the way, a frozen concoction similar to a milkshake, but with a coffee taste and of course the mocha makes it taste alot like chocolate...so, chocolate and coffee combined with a little extra chocolate. Is it any wonder I'm still awake???

I kind of messed around the house after I got up from my nap (which lasted about 90 minutes according to Steve) and after about an hour of being up decided I'd been in the house long enough. Jenna and I hopped in the car and headed "into town". (Steve was bowling).

First I stopped at the local coffee shop for my frolatte. Then on to Hobby Lobby where I got some scrapbooking paper. Great deals there...most everything in the store 50% off. I couldn't even use my 40% off coupon since it was all already on sale. Then, on to Joann's where paper was 6 sheets for $.96! Holy cow! I got like 24 sheets and only spent a couple bucks! After that, we headed to the mall. But before we could shop, Jenna wanted to see if Santa was there. I figured he was, but told her there would probably be a huge line. Much to our pleasant surprise, there was about 3 families in line ahead of us. Jenna was about to come out of her skin with excitement. She got right up there, told him what she wanted and got her picture taken. Those pictures are highway robbery if you ask me. Almost $20 for 2 3x5 pictures. But you know parents everywhere get sucked in...and they were good pictures. :) I digress...

One of the things that Jenna decides she wants and tells Santa is the Rudolph from Build a Bear workshop. And it just so happens that in the little package you get after seeing Santa, was a $5 off coupon from BAB. How convenient because I also had a $10 off coupon from being a frequent customer (insert rolling of the eyes here). So, off we went to purchase a Rudolph. We got the Rudolph and a special Rudolph sound for $14. If you know anything about BAB, it's NOT cheap. So, I thought I did really well. While we were there, Steve finished bowling and met us at the mall. Since the frolatte filled me and Jenna up, we hadn't eaten yet, so we met at the food court and I used yet ANOTHER coupon to buy us dinner at Chik-fil-a. Got Jenna's dinner free with the coupon. Such a STEAL!

After eating, Steve took Jenna out and I went back to BAB and got her the Clarice reindeer (which is Rudolph's girlfriend) and several accessories. I think after all my BAB purchases tonight, I'm eligible for another $10 gift certificate which I might throw in Jenna's stocking if I get it in time. Then, I went to JCPenney's and bought Steve and Chase several things and found Christmas turtlenecks for yes, $6! $5.30 is what is actually rang up. And then I got a really pretty Christmas sweater for $18.88. Not to mention, because I spent over $75, I used my $15 off coupon.

I finally packed up and got ready to leave when I thought I might run by Lifeway just to see if they were still open. Seeing that it was nearly 10 minutes after 10pm, I figured they weren't, and I was right, so I headed on toward the interstate. However, I saw Target was still open until 11pm and I need a birthday gift for tomorrow afternoon, so I swung in to pick up a gift and card. I didn't even get a basket since I was only there for the gift. Of course, half way through I had to steal someone's hand basket because I couldn't carry everything. I found a couple DVDs for Jenna and got a couple gifts for the family. I nearly shut Target down. Not really...they hadn't even started making announcements that they were closing when I left.

So, I headed home with about 15 mintues to spare...and I'm driving down the interstate at nearly 11pm and I was amazed at the volume of traffic not only on the interstate, but also on the side roads. I know it's Black Friday and all, but I really didn't realize people were still out. Any other weekend, by 11pm, it's really starting to get deserted. But not tonight. Gives a whole new meaning to "shop till you drop".

Oh, and can I tell you when I finally got to the house, my van thermometer showed 25 degrees outside? Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

OK, see, this is WHY I don't nap...because now, after a NOVEL of a post, it's 12:07 (Saturday) and I am just starting to think towards bed. We have someone coming to install carpet in my scrapbooking room tomrorow morning at 7am so my day will start early and I'm looking at only 7 hours of sleep as it is. The upstairs is a complete and utter wreck because everything that was crammed into that little spare bedroom is sitting in our bonus room or Jenna's room. Before we load it back in tomorrow, I'm going to clean it out.

Well, I'm going to sign off because by now even those of you reading this have fallen asleep. Plus, I have GOT to put my head on the pillow so I can get some rest before tomorrow. Oh wait...it IS tomorrow. :)

Happy Black Friday!

Turkey Overdose?

Anyone out there have turkey overdose? I didn't eat alot of turkey, but boy it sure feels like I did!

I have to say how much I enjoy being around Steve's family. I think I said this already some time ago, but I forget how much I love being around them. I just enjoy going to whoever's house and laughing at the stories that I wasn't around for. They've got lots more history together than I have since I joined the family so late, so I love hearing some of the things that happened "way back when".

Micah brought Gage with her tonight and it was very enjoyable to see and spend time with them. Chase came also and I always enjoy being around him. Somewhere along the way, I blinked and my kids grew up and became adults. Likewise, my niece, Beth, who is the same age as Micah was at our Thanksgiving dinner and I've come to enjoy talking and laughing with her. Back when she was a kid and I'd first met her, I spent lots of time with she and Micah. And then she went and grew up too. I just enjoy spending time with all of Steve's family. There's no other way to put it.

So...on with an update...really there's not much to update. Jenna got a progress report last week and she's doing wonderfully. She seems to really enjoy school and I am so glad we did pre-1st.

It's been busy at work because of annual enrollment. Steve's work is busy off and on. Jenna is finishing up her first semester of violin and probably gymnastics. She definitely isn't doing violin after this year. And she was going to only do gymnastics through May and then she's dying to do horseback riding lessons. But for us to swing that, she'll have to quit both violin and gymnastics. We'll see.

Well, I'm starting to get pretty tired. I'm headed off to bed. Happy Thanksgiving everyone...

Happy Thanksgiving!

I know I have much to update you on, but I thought I'd start this Thanksgiving Day just with pictures of the things I am most thankful for! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

Just quickly...

I have so much to report on, but now is not the time. I'm not going to work a full day on Wednesday because Jenna's out of school and I am taking her to the office with me. I will have plenty of time to update after that. Recently, my work has blocked the blogger site, so I no longer can write my blogs at work. BUMMER!

But I'll update very soon...like within the next few days and get all you faithful readers (if there are any out there!) up to date with what's been going on with us!

S-

15 Years ago...

April 16, 1957 - November 7, 1992

It was late this afternoon when I realized that 15 years ago today, my mother walked down the streets of gold into the arms of her heavenly Father.

It was a Saturday morning and a very chilly one at that. My best friends at the time were Rachel and Kelly who both kept me laughing through my grief. I think that's what helped me survive.

Not a day goes by that I don't miss my mother and wish she were here for me to talk to. But I know she's in a much better place than I could ever imagine.

Love you Mama. Looking forward to seeing you again one day.

Ruminations of a Pregnancy Lost...

Warning: this relates to early miscarriage so if you are sensitive, please skip this post.

Lately, I've been thinking and dealing with the whole supposed miscarriage issue I went through a few weeks ago. I use the word "supposed" and I'll tell you why...

When I went to the doctor, I told her what was going on and she said "most likely" I'd had a miscarriage. Because I waited several weeks before getting checked out, a pregnancy test showed up negative and they didn't draw blood to confirm because I was several weeks past the symptoms that originally showed up and then caused me to go get checked out.

During the time in which my symptoms presented themselves (by the way, I'm being ambiguous because this public blog I'm not comfortable talking about the specifics), the thought had crossed my mind that I might be miscarrying, but in all honestly, I figured it was wishful thinking (NOT that I was miscarrying, but that I was even pregnant to begin with). Then, I go into the doctor and she confirmed what I had wondered but dared not speak aloud.

So, up until now, I've spent an inordinate amount of time trying to find more information about when things happened in the prior couple months, in order to prove, mostly to myself, that I wasn't ever really pregnant to begin with and that there must be another explanation for my symptoms. Well...I've researched emails, caldendars, blogs, posts etc. just to have everything I found point to, indeed, a miscarriage. It's hard to explain while attempting ambiguity, but it's true.

Now, I'm faced with the astounding fact that I most likely (yes, my OB said about 97%) was pregnant even if just for a few short weeks. The whole thing is still a little unbelievable to me as I'm sure it is to Steve. I mean, when you have built your life around trying for something that you knew was most likely never to happen, it's a little mind-blowing when it does.

Let me put it in terms easier for the general population to understand. Imagine that you've been playing the lottery, or even McDonald's Monopoly for years never believing you'd ever win, but still 1/2 heartedly playing anyway. Until one day, you find that you actually hit the jackpot. Your numbers came up or you got the Park Place sticker...After all the hoopla, you'd most likely spend a lot of time trying to work out how you got where you were and thinking of every possible explanation that you DIDN'T win. Then, after examining all the possibilities, you find that you definitely won the jackpot. Well, that's kind of how I feel. I've been rolling the dice for some time now, not ever really expecting to win, but playing just for fun. And then I find out that not only was I pregnant, but I miscarried.

Emotionally, I really am fine. I mean, had I tested and found I was pregnant and then miscarried later, I would probably be a lot different, but as it happened, it was over before I knew it began. Although, I'm sure I'm rolling the dice again as we put down a deposit for a cruise next August and am in the process of turning our one and only spare bedroom into a scrapbooking room. But you know...we still believe what God wills will happen. Nothing more and nothing less.

We are looking forward to what the future will bring...regardless of whether that involves a pregnancy. All I'll know is that coming up on this Thanksgiving, I'll have lots to be thankful for!

I'll keep everyone posted, but don't hold your breath!