Good news/Bad News

OK, it's late, so this has got to be quick...we just got back from TPAC and it's way past my bedtime.

I have something to tell all my devoted readers (ha!) and because it's one of those things you don't really know how to bring up in conversation, I'm going to say it here. :)

I went to my OBGYN today and she told me that I had a recent miscarriage. That's the bad news.

Now...hopefully most of you will remember Steve had reversal surgery last year about this time. After the surgery, we discovered, that while it was technically successful, it wasn't successful enough to produce a pregnant. So, we've done nothing further to prevent a pregnancy from happening but we've not done much to help it along (via fertility treatments that is).

Without going into a load of detail (which is not appropriate for such a public blog), I had some unusual stuff going on last week and the week before and so at the request of my OB nurse, I made the earliest appointment and went in to see her today. There's no way to "prove" these weird things were definitely a miscarriage as I'm "done" as my OB put it, but there's not much other explanation in her professional opinion.

AND...to answer the question I've had all day today, I'm fine. Just to be clear, I did NOT know until today that I'd even been pregnant, so hearing that I'd miscarried after the fact helps. And yes, it does mean that it is POSSIBLE that I can get pregnant. But since the reversal, it's always been POSSIBLE. And that is the good news. But I'm not allowing myself to get hopeful or excited. I've spent the last 2 years after my failed IVF cycles trying to cope with the fact that I probably wouldn't ever be pregnant again. I've come a long way from that emotional rollercoaster and I don't intend to hop on it again until I'm sure there's a reason to be excited. We hold on to the knowledge that if it's God's will, it will happen.

Anwyay, that's what is going on. I'm seriously fine and I don't mind talking about it if you want to ask questions (and I'm sure some of you will). You all know me well enough to know there's not much I mind telling. :)

Oh, and Steve is fine with it also. We have elected not to tell Jenna. She so desperately wants a baby that I'm not sure she could understand.

OK...off to bed!