That's how I would describe my departure from the beautiful country of South Africa. I have never, ever, loved another country than my own. I have friends that do, but I never understood. Until now. I love South Africa. And while I was very much looking forward to seeing my sweet girl and husband, my heart was heavy to leave. I was barely on the plane when I began to miss the team members that had left just 2 days before. I miss the Team House, I miss Danielle, Clynton, Nadine, Gordon, Francie, Jennifer and Abigail. They all became my family while I was there. They are so open and knowledgable about their country and their commentaries made my visit all the more wonderful.
I am not so naive to think that our team was any more special to them than any other team (except maybe to Danielle since we represent her home church) that comes through, but my heart's desire is that they each think of us fondly.
But I think mostly of the children whose paths crossed mine and whose lives touched my heart. I can't look at the clock without calculating the time in Cape Town and wondering what they are doing half way across the world. When I am going to work in the morning, they are outside their little homes, running in the streets with other children. I think of my sweet volunteer friend, Joy and wonder if she's back in school. I wonder if she thinks of me and wonders what I am doing as well.
I think of my team members from BBC who are now back in the states as I am. I wonder about their lives post-South Africa. I wonder if they feel as different as I do? I know it sounds cliche, but my life will never be the same and quite honestly, I don't ever want it to. I don't ever want to forget what I saw and felt there. I never want this ache in my heart to go away.
I want to remember.
I realize many of you will not understand this post. And that is OK. My prayer is that one day you will.
10.08.2010
10.06.2010
South Africa - A Country of Contrast
As most of you know by now, I arrived back in the states about this time last night. I have not yet had time to process all that I saw while there or what God taught me, but I did want to post somewhat of a summary. I'm starting to experience the "re-entry" phase (which is not always easy) and I'm hoping posting will help sort my thoughts. So, here goes...
What to say about my journey to Cape Town, South Africa? SO much. There are not enough words to convey all that is in my heart about this country of contrasts. It's where extreme beauty meets extreme poverty. But regardless of where you are, you can see God's hand ALL OVER. And beauty is not always defined how society tells us it is.
The beauty there is unbelievable. I saw things that make me fall to my knees in awe of an awesome God that created this world. I wonder how anyone can look around and see the crystal blue waters of the Atlantic and Indian Oceans (depending on where you are) or be surrounded by the majesty of tall mountains or watch two elephants frolicking near a watering hole and not believe in The God that created it all.
But just down the road...in townships such as Masiphumelele, Capricorn, Ocean View, Overcome Heights and Red Hill...are what can best be described as shantys. Shacks. Lean-to's.
The poverty.
There is nothing. These people have so little. Yet I witnessed indescribable joy and love for God in a small church in Masi. Men and women dressed in their Sunday "best" singing praise to God at the top of their lungs.
Contrasts.
Little children, dirty, hungry, smelly. But yet also singing about how Jesus is their superhero. Their best friend. Oh how I long for a relationship with God like that.
When you have nothing else but Him, you find you NEED nothing else but Him.
What to say about my journey to Cape Town, South Africa? SO much. There are not enough words to convey all that is in my heart about this country of contrasts. It's where extreme beauty meets extreme poverty. But regardless of where you are, you can see God's hand ALL OVER. And beauty is not always defined how society tells us it is.
The beauty there is unbelievable. I saw things that make me fall to my knees in awe of an awesome God that created this world. I wonder how anyone can look around and see the crystal blue waters of the Atlantic and Indian Oceans (depending on where you are) or be surrounded by the majesty of tall mountains or watch two elephants frolicking near a watering hole and not believe in The God that created it all.
But just down the road...in townships such as Masiphumelele, Capricorn, Ocean View, Overcome Heights and Red Hill...are what can best be described as shantys. Shacks. Lean-to's.
The poverty.
There is nothing. These people have so little. Yet I witnessed indescribable joy and love for God in a small church in Masi. Men and women dressed in their Sunday "best" singing praise to God at the top of their lungs.
Contrasts.
Little children, dirty, hungry, smelly. But yet also singing about how Jesus is their superhero. Their best friend. Oh how I long for a relationship with God like that.
When you have nothing else but Him, you find you NEED nothing else but Him.
9.21.2010
I'm leavinnnggg on a jet plane....
This post is gonna be quick because I have last minute stuff to do before bed.
I am leaving tomorrow to head to South Africa. I need all your thoughts and prayers. I so wish I could tell you about my day and about how God has shown up over and over, but right now, there's no time. I will write this all down during my 24 hours in the air (one way, that is) and then blog about it when I return home.
I want to thank those of you that sent me emails this week and today to say you were thinking of me and wondering how I was holding up. You will never know how meaningful those were to me. And if I said I was printing off your email to take with me, I wasn't joking. It's in my backpack now.
And a special thanks to my girls in Bible Study tonight. You are truly women of God and you get me through. As Beth would say, "I'm crazy about you." You are one of my most favorite things about Station Hill.
OK...I'm off...I won't have my cell on so don't bother texting. I will notify Steve and a couple close friends when I touch down, so if you are so inclined, check with them. I'm sure they'll be letting you know when I'm safely there.
See you in 2 weeks.
PS. Don't forget to check out the BBC missions blog in the post below. You might see me there!
I am leaving tomorrow to head to South Africa. I need all your thoughts and prayers. I so wish I could tell you about my day and about how God has shown up over and over, but right now, there's no time. I will write this all down during my 24 hours in the air (one way, that is) and then blog about it when I return home.
I want to thank those of you that sent me emails this week and today to say you were thinking of me and wondering how I was holding up. You will never know how meaningful those were to me. And if I said I was printing off your email to take with me, I wasn't joking. It's in my backpack now.
And a special thanks to my girls in Bible Study tonight. You are truly women of God and you get me through. As Beth would say, "I'm crazy about you." You are one of my most favorite things about Station Hill.
OK...I'm off...I won't have my cell on so don't bother texting. I will notify Steve and a couple close friends when I touch down, so if you are so inclined, check with them. I'm sure they'll be letting you know when I'm safely there.
See you in 2 weeks.
PS. Don't forget to check out the BBC missions blog in the post below. You might see me there!
9.18.2010
Homestudy...check!
Yesterday we had our last home study visit with our social worker. This one was at our house. It was very low key and if Jenna hadn't talked her ear off, it would have lasted just an hour. The best part was right at the end when the social worker asked Jenna if she and Steve had any fun plans for the day (she was out of school) and she said "Well, we don't get along." Um. GREAT. Luckily, the social worker has children and knew Jenna didn't mean it that way. And poor Jenna, we are never going to let her live it down. :)
I'm about to sit down and finish a couple of financial worksheets and after that, I will only be lacking the 2 medical forms to have this part complete (at least as far as I'm concerned). I am hoping to get those two things done early next week so that the social worker can be writing the homestudy while I'm in South Africa. It might or might not happen, but I have decided I have to let it go if it doesn't.
I spent most of today packing and then tonight we went to an adoptive families picnic. That was pretty cool...seeing all these families either going through or having already gone through exactly what we are. I can't wait to bring our little girl home and have her play with all these children!
So that's it for today. Lots more to do!
I'm about to sit down and finish a couple of financial worksheets and after that, I will only be lacking the 2 medical forms to have this part complete (at least as far as I'm concerned). I am hoping to get those two things done early next week so that the social worker can be writing the homestudy while I'm in South Africa. It might or might not happen, but I have decided I have to let it go if it doesn't.
I spent most of today packing and then tonight we went to an adoptive families picnic. That was pretty cool...seeing all these families either going through or having already gone through exactly what we are. I can't wait to bring our little girl home and have her play with all these children!
So that's it for today. Lots more to do!
9.17.2010
Easing back in...
One of the most common questions I have received this week is "How are you doing?" And the most true answer (and the one I've used most frequently) is, "I'd be lying if I said I was fine. At this point, I'm surviving." Then I thought that "surviving" probably made me sound worse than I am. That word conjurs up thoughts of someone lost, starving in the dessert or forest, living on just the minimum food and drink available to them.
So, I decided to look the word up in the dictionary. Amazingly, here is the very first definition: "to remain alive after the death of someone, the cessation of something, or the occurrence of some event; continue to live." Another definition, "to get along or remain healthy, happy, and unaffected in spite of some occurrence." And finally, simply...
To endure or live through (an affliction, adversity, misery, etc.)
I would say that all of the above apply. Life moves on. The day of the funeral, as the procession moved down the streets towards the cemetery, I watched as cars moved to the side of the road in respect and I wondered about the people in them. Where are they going? What are they doing? While they are going on about life as they know it, do they realize how life was altered for the occupants of the vehicles in this line?
I have learned a lot about myself in the last few months. A few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend of mine at church. We attended the same university at the same time. We even ran in the same crowd. We HAD to know each other. And while neither of us have a very clear recollection of each other, I realize much of my college life is lost to me. I remember very little about those years. While most folks have lifelong friends, happy memories and even spouses from college, I remember just vague bits and pieces from my time there.
My friend Stacey has often told me that while she and my other high school friends were living it up in school (like NORMAL people do!) that I had to grow up all too fast (losing my mother at 18). And I think I'm realizing she is more right than I thought. College was just another way of putting one foot in front of the other back then. Another example is when I learned of my brother Danny's passing in June. I recall exactly where I was and what I was doing when the call came (my poor work friends having to witness this), but everything immediately after that? Gone. I bet folks from work could remind me, but for me, the minutes and hours directly after the call came are gone.
And even as recently as Monday, I had lunch with my boss. I remember going to lunch and remember bits and pieces of the conversation we had, but specifics (like how she invited me to dinner later in the week) are gone. Even what I did that day at work (apparently not much) are gone. I mentioned this to her tonight and she thinks it is all part of the shock and stress when sudden death touches you. I can't say I disagree.
I went back to work yesterday because that's how I heal. I try to go back to normal as quickly as possible. Unfortunately for me, I had a complete "come apart" by 8:30am. An ugly cry. The kind where the tears start because of something ridiculously insignificant, rise to a fever pitch and then feel like they will NEVER. STOP. I was instant messaging my friend Rachel asking her to pray because I honestly felt like I would never be able to get myself back together. She must have done what I asked because a few minutes later, I managed to pull it together long enough to get to the all day presentation I had to do, which ended up serving as a brilliant distraction.
As a funny aside...I went into the bathroom immediately before presenting to put on my lipstick. Looking in the mirror, I literally laughed out loud to see how ridiculous I was being. Like lipstick could erase the hideous red, blotchy, swollen face staring back! But I did it. I put one foot in front of the other, remembered to breathe in and out and made it through the day.
Same thing today minus the meltdown, so progress is being made. I had tentatively planned on tailgating with some of my most favorite people in the world, but I just could not do it. I felt like I needed to socialize, but I just didn't feel like it. Instead, I opted for quieter dinner with JG and my friend S. I eased myself back into reality and socialization and it felt good.
As for me?
I will survive.
I will be happy again.
I will live my life without regret.
I will continue to put one foot in front of the other.
I will.
So, I decided to look the word up in the dictionary. Amazingly, here is the very first definition: "to remain alive after the death of someone, the cessation of something, or the occurrence of some event; continue to live." Another definition, "to get along or remain healthy, happy, and unaffected in spite of some occurrence." And finally, simply...
To endure or live through (an affliction, adversity, misery, etc.)
I would say that all of the above apply. Life moves on. The day of the funeral, as the procession moved down the streets towards the cemetery, I watched as cars moved to the side of the road in respect and I wondered about the people in them. Where are they going? What are they doing? While they are going on about life as they know it, do they realize how life was altered for the occupants of the vehicles in this line?
I have learned a lot about myself in the last few months. A few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend of mine at church. We attended the same university at the same time. We even ran in the same crowd. We HAD to know each other. And while neither of us have a very clear recollection of each other, I realize much of my college life is lost to me. I remember very little about those years. While most folks have lifelong friends, happy memories and even spouses from college, I remember just vague bits and pieces from my time there.
My friend Stacey has often told me that while she and my other high school friends were living it up in school (like NORMAL people do!) that I had to grow up all too fast (losing my mother at 18). And I think I'm realizing she is more right than I thought. College was just another way of putting one foot in front of the other back then. Another example is when I learned of my brother Danny's passing in June. I recall exactly where I was and what I was doing when the call came (my poor work friends having to witness this), but everything immediately after that? Gone. I bet folks from work could remind me, but for me, the minutes and hours directly after the call came are gone.
And even as recently as Monday, I had lunch with my boss. I remember going to lunch and remember bits and pieces of the conversation we had, but specifics (like how she invited me to dinner later in the week) are gone. Even what I did that day at work (apparently not much) are gone. I mentioned this to her tonight and she thinks it is all part of the shock and stress when sudden death touches you. I can't say I disagree.
I went back to work yesterday because that's how I heal. I try to go back to normal as quickly as possible. Unfortunately for me, I had a complete "come apart" by 8:30am. An ugly cry. The kind where the tears start because of something ridiculously insignificant, rise to a fever pitch and then feel like they will NEVER. STOP. I was instant messaging my friend Rachel asking her to pray because I honestly felt like I would never be able to get myself back together. She must have done what I asked because a few minutes later, I managed to pull it together long enough to get to the all day presentation I had to do, which ended up serving as a brilliant distraction.
As a funny aside...I went into the bathroom immediately before presenting to put on my lipstick. Looking in the mirror, I literally laughed out loud to see how ridiculous I was being. Like lipstick could erase the hideous red, blotchy, swollen face staring back! But I did it. I put one foot in front of the other, remembered to breathe in and out and made it through the day.
Same thing today minus the meltdown, so progress is being made. I had tentatively planned on tailgating with some of my most favorite people in the world, but I just could not do it. I felt like I needed to socialize, but I just didn't feel like it. Instead, I opted for quieter dinner with JG and my friend S. I eased myself back into reality and socialization and it felt good.
As for me?
I will survive.
I will be happy again.
I will live my life without regret.
I will continue to put one foot in front of the other.
I will.
9.15.2010
Introducing...
MY NEW BLOG LOOK!
Thanks to the wonderful work of the Design Girl (click her button below), I finally have a new look to my blog! And it couldn't have come at a better time. My new look makes me smile and right now, I need a little something to smile about.
Because I don't want to dwell on the sadness, I'm just going to take one paragraph to talk about the events of late. The past two days were hard. I've thought a lot about my brother, David. I remember vividly thinking several years ago that I might die myself when he died. I never would have thought it would have been this soon. He was never serious. I remember at my wedding, the photographer wanted to get a picture of him kissing me on the cheek and it just felt so unnatural because we never were that way with each other. But we showed each other love in hundreds of other ways. He was a giver. And he couldn't have been any more excited when I got pregnant with Jenna. I had probably 3 or 4 showers but at the end of them all, his gift to me was to buy everything, EVERYTHING, that wasn't already bought on my registry. And from the day she came into the world, things were never the same. He loved her and showed it in the same way he showed me. We loved him best. We loved him hard. And now he's gone. The only thing that makes this even a little bit bearable is that he is with his brother (my brother Dan who passed this June) and his mom (my mom who passed in 92) and his dad (who passed many years ago when David was only 2 years old). They are a family again and somehow to me, that seems the way it should be. But man am I going to miss him. I don't know how life is going to be without him. The world lost a grand man. And I lost the best sibling I have ever had.
Guess that was a pretty long paragraph! I could go on. I have so much inside. But some things just aren't meant to be shared. I do appreciate all your thoughts, cards, calls, offers of help and prayers.
On a happier note, we have our final home study visit at our house this Friday. We are very excited to be coming into the final stretch. I almost had a come apart earlier this week. I have worked SO HARD to get all this paperwork together before I leave for South Africa. My philosophy was that the social worker could be writing up the home study while I was there. But beginning of this week, things started falling apart. Several references haven't responded yet (if this is you, RESPOND! LOL!), I haven't done the financial spreadsheets because I was waiting on something else that I haven't yet received and I had to cancel and reschedule my eye appointment which is what is holding up my doctor's letter. Steve's doctor's letter isn't ready yet either and both need notaries which the doctor's offices do not have. I finally had to just let it go and know that it just isn't going to get done when I wanted it to. I am at the mercy of others and that is the way it's going to be with this process, so I might as well get used to it! :)
Anyway, it's back to work for me tomorrow. I have a pretty full day tomorrow and Friday. Saturday will be spent in a mound of laundry and packing. Then next Wednesday, I'm off to Cape Town! I won't have access to the internet from there so I will have to journal and then post blogs when I return.
On our way home, this is what we saw...I felt like God made that just for me.
Thanks to the wonderful work of the Design Girl (click her button below), I finally have a new look to my blog! And it couldn't have come at a better time. My new look makes me smile and right now, I need a little something to smile about.
Because I don't want to dwell on the sadness, I'm just going to take one paragraph to talk about the events of late. The past two days were hard. I've thought a lot about my brother, David. I remember vividly thinking several years ago that I might die myself when he died. I never would have thought it would have been this soon. He was never serious. I remember at my wedding, the photographer wanted to get a picture of him kissing me on the cheek and it just felt so unnatural because we never were that way with each other. But we showed each other love in hundreds of other ways. He was a giver. And he couldn't have been any more excited when I got pregnant with Jenna. I had probably 3 or 4 showers but at the end of them all, his gift to me was to buy everything, EVERYTHING, that wasn't already bought on my registry. And from the day she came into the world, things were never the same. He loved her and showed it in the same way he showed me. We loved him best. We loved him hard. And now he's gone. The only thing that makes this even a little bit bearable is that he is with his brother (my brother Dan who passed this June) and his mom (my mom who passed in 92) and his dad (who passed many years ago when David was only 2 years old). They are a family again and somehow to me, that seems the way it should be. But man am I going to miss him. I don't know how life is going to be without him. The world lost a grand man. And I lost the best sibling I have ever had.
Guess that was a pretty long paragraph! I could go on. I have so much inside. But some things just aren't meant to be shared. I do appreciate all your thoughts, cards, calls, offers of help and prayers.
On a happier note, we have our final home study visit at our house this Friday. We are very excited to be coming into the final stretch. I almost had a come apart earlier this week. I have worked SO HARD to get all this paperwork together before I leave for South Africa. My philosophy was that the social worker could be writing up the home study while I was there. But beginning of this week, things started falling apart. Several references haven't responded yet (if this is you, RESPOND! LOL!), I haven't done the financial spreadsheets because I was waiting on something else that I haven't yet received and I had to cancel and reschedule my eye appointment which is what is holding up my doctor's letter. Steve's doctor's letter isn't ready yet either and both need notaries which the doctor's offices do not have. I finally had to just let it go and know that it just isn't going to get done when I wanted it to. I am at the mercy of others and that is the way it's going to be with this process, so I might as well get used to it! :)
Anyway, it's back to work for me tomorrow. I have a pretty full day tomorrow and Friday. Saturday will be spent in a mound of laundry and packing. Then next Wednesday, I'm off to Cape Town! I won't have access to the internet from there so I will have to journal and then post blogs when I return.
On our way home, this is what we saw...I felt like God made that just for me.
9.13.2010
Arrangements
Sorry for the delay in posting these, but I just got them.
Arrangements for David P. Griesinger (pronounced ‘grease-singer’):
Visitation Tuesday, September 14 from 4-8pm
Funeral Wednesday, September 15 at 1pm, visitation prior to the funeral from 11-1.
Woodbine Funeral Home (the “old” one) 3620 Nolensville Pike Nashville, TN 37211-3250 (615) 832-1948.
Arrangements for David P. Griesinger (pronounced ‘grease-singer’):
Visitation Tuesday, September 14 from 4-8pm
Funeral Wednesday, September 15 at 1pm, visitation prior to the funeral from 11-1.
Woodbine Funeral Home (the “old” one) 3620 Nolensville Pike Nashville, TN 37211-3250 (615) 832-1948.
9.12.2010
A 1am Phone Call
It's never good when the phone rings at 1am. This morning was no exception. We had not been in bed long when the phone rang. Steve, being closest, answered. And the minute he spoke, I knew.
Last night about 11pm, my only surviving brother died of an apparent heart attack.
He was only 52 and he wasn't sick. He had what everyone else has at about that age...high blood pressure and cholesterol, but other than that, he was fine. What I know at this point, is my sister in law heard him up (she'd already gone to bed) and thought he was sick at his stomach. When she made it to the hall, he was there on the floor. She called 9-1-1 and gave him CPR, but he could never be revived.
My comment to Steve last night was "God must think I'm some kind of a super woman to be able to withstand all that's happened and now this". To be honest, I wasn't sure how God and I were going to get along going forward.
I know that makes some of you that know me cringe. But after 4 family deaths in the past 20 months, the last 3 of them MY family, I just honestly was not sure how much I could take.
My 2nd comment to Steve was a question... "What am I supposed to do now?" He told me that I didn't have to go to church in the morning. To just try and get some rest and he would take Jenna and I could rest.
But I couldn't. I serve in the nursery at 9:30 and I look forward to seeing those babies. And I wasn't in the frame of mind to sit at home. I needed to go. I thought maybe God and I needed to have a chat. So I got up and went to church. And those sweet babies were my respite in a storm of emotion for 90 minutes. Rather than dwelling on my loss, I gave what little I had to love on those babies. And they gave me peace in return.
In service, I listened to the music. It was good, but quite honestly, I was feeling stoic. I wasn't sure I was in the mood to worship. God had taken from me yet one more thing that I loved. And then came this song...these words...
As morning dawns and evening fades
You inspire songs of praise
That rise from earth to touch Your heart and glorify Your Name
Your Name is a strong and mighty tower
Your Name is a shelter like no other
Your Name, let the nations sing it louder
'Cause nothing has the power to save
But Your Name
Jesus, in Your Name we pray
Come and fill our hearts today
Lord, give us strength to live for You and glorify Your Name
Your Name is a strong and mighty tower
Your Name is a shelter like no other
Your Name, let the nations sing it louder
'Cause nothing has the power to save but Your Name
And as that song was sang, I did. I called on His name. I called Him to come be with me because I know without a doubt, I cannot do this again. I cannot let go of something I love. And I felt Him. I felt His peace. I watched those on the stage singing and those around me worshipping and I felt like I was anchored in the midst of the storm.
As the tears flowed...tears of sadness, tears of grief, tears of gratefulness...my friend Rachel reached out her hand to mine and I felt like I'd had a cold drink of water. These are the people that love me. These are the friends that grieve with me. This is the family that even though they might not know what I was going through at the moment, loved me through words, hugs and gentle conversation.
These are the hands and feet of Christ. Living and active in my life. Right. Now. And I cannot thank God enough for them. I will need their prayers and support. And they will be there to give it in a variety of ways.
This, my friends, is what Church is about. I'm grateful to be part of the people known as The Church at Station Hill.
Arrangements will be forthcoming, but until then, I covet your prayers.
Last night about 11pm, my only surviving brother died of an apparent heart attack.
He was only 52 and he wasn't sick. He had what everyone else has at about that age...high blood pressure and cholesterol, but other than that, he was fine. What I know at this point, is my sister in law heard him up (she'd already gone to bed) and thought he was sick at his stomach. When she made it to the hall, he was there on the floor. She called 9-1-1 and gave him CPR, but he could never be revived.
My comment to Steve last night was "God must think I'm some kind of a super woman to be able to withstand all that's happened and now this". To be honest, I wasn't sure how God and I were going to get along going forward.
I know that makes some of you that know me cringe. But after 4 family deaths in the past 20 months, the last 3 of them MY family, I just honestly was not sure how much I could take.
My 2nd comment to Steve was a question... "What am I supposed to do now?" He told me that I didn't have to go to church in the morning. To just try and get some rest and he would take Jenna and I could rest.
But I couldn't. I serve in the nursery at 9:30 and I look forward to seeing those babies. And I wasn't in the frame of mind to sit at home. I needed to go. I thought maybe God and I needed to have a chat. So I got up and went to church. And those sweet babies were my respite in a storm of emotion for 90 minutes. Rather than dwelling on my loss, I gave what little I had to love on those babies. And they gave me peace in return.
In service, I listened to the music. It was good, but quite honestly, I was feeling stoic. I wasn't sure I was in the mood to worship. God had taken from me yet one more thing that I loved. And then came this song...these words...
As morning dawns and evening fades
You inspire songs of praise
That rise from earth to touch Your heart and glorify Your Name
Your Name is a strong and mighty tower
Your Name is a shelter like no other
Your Name, let the nations sing it louder
'Cause nothing has the power to save
But Your Name
Jesus, in Your Name we pray
Come and fill our hearts today
Lord, give us strength to live for You and glorify Your Name
Your Name is a strong and mighty tower
Your Name is a shelter like no other
Your Name, let the nations sing it louder
'Cause nothing has the power to save but Your Name
And as that song was sang, I did. I called on His name. I called Him to come be with me because I know without a doubt, I cannot do this again. I cannot let go of something I love. And I felt Him. I felt His peace. I watched those on the stage singing and those around me worshipping and I felt like I was anchored in the midst of the storm.
As the tears flowed...tears of sadness, tears of grief, tears of gratefulness...my friend Rachel reached out her hand to mine and I felt like I'd had a cold drink of water. These are the people that love me. These are the friends that grieve with me. This is the family that even though they might not know what I was going through at the moment, loved me through words, hugs and gentle conversation.
These are the hands and feet of Christ. Living and active in my life. Right. Now. And I cannot thank God enough for them. I will need their prayers and support. And they will be there to give it in a variety of ways.
This, my friends, is what Church is about. I'm grateful to be part of the people known as The Church at Station Hill.
Arrangements will be forthcoming, but until then, I covet your prayers.
9.07.2010
Click here...
I know a bunch of folks (including myself), read blogs using something like Google Reader so you never really get to see what other people's blogs actually look like. If you are one of these people, please click over to my actual blog and take a look.
Yes, there's a reason I'm asking you to do that...I'm about to make some big changes to the blog and I can't get your opinion about the NEW look if you don't know what the OLD look was like!
Yes, there's a reason I'm asking you to do that...I'm about to make some big changes to the blog and I can't get your opinion about the NEW look if you don't know what the OLD look was like!
9.06.2010
Happy Labor Day!
For those of you non-locals, the weather in Nashville this weekend has been WONDERFUL! We have had so many sweltering hot days that this 70-80 degree was absolutely marvelous!
Friday, the SVP at work gave us all the go-ahead to start the weekend early about 2pm. My friend, Katelyn and I made a quick run out to Hendersonville to our boss Sherri's house to "shop" in her closet. Sherri and I wear about the same size clothing but she has MUCH better taste than I do! If you see me in a really cute outfit, that's because I got it from her stash! Katelyn is lucky enough to wear the same size shoe so she went and got a couple pairs of shoes. After I went through the clothes and Katelyn went through the shoes, I loaded up the "discards". The last spring cleaning Sherri did went into our yardsale. This time, I think I might do an upscale consignment. It's a win-win because I take all the stuff off her hands and then I get the benefit from selling it. Seeing that I'm going to need to do some fundraising for the adoption, I might try the consignment route. These clothes are not K-Mart special clothes either...they are NICE clothes. And I found quickly that they didn't bring a tiny fraction of what they were worth in a yard sale. If you know of a good, high end consignment store in the area, tell me about it!
Jenna had a school activity on Friday night until 10pm, so I met Steve for dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant in town (moment of silence for it is closing in a few weeks) and then I went back to work to play catch-up until time to get JG. Since vacation, I have had a hard time getting motivated to work which has really put me behind. I made some good headway Friday night.
Saturday was just a day to hang out. We did some window-shopping at Best Buy for me a new laptop (which we did NOT purchase) and then to Kroger Marketplace where we purchased the new mini-couch that will go in our bonus room when we redo the rooms for our new daughter. I can't wait to get those all set up. Pictures to come! Saturday night, Steve sat with our elderly friend and JG and I went to hang out around the firepit with our friends the Moores. It was a great time and the company was excellent considering we would have been sitting home alone.
Sunday was chock full of church activites. I only had 2 sweet babies in the nursery, most likely due to the holiday. I had 2 meetings set for after church, but both canceled, so I got to finish laundry and hang out at home. Steve was so jealous of the firepit fun we had with the Moores, that we set up our own pit and had some hotdogs for the second night in a row! Jenna and I went and got pedicures and then some ice cream. She told me several times, "This is the best day EVER!"...she apparently has her expectations set VERY low (there's a deep lesson in there somewhere...)
Today, Steve and JG went and sat with our elderly friend again and I went to work. Yeah, you heard me...I spent most of the day at work...playing catch up and trying to save my days off for when I return from South Africa. I tell you...in the hours I was there today, I knocked out a TON of stuff. I feel so good about where I ended up. I'm sure that will be short lived, but I'm enjoying it for now.
After we all got back home, here is what our evening looked like in pictures...
Yum! I hope you enjoyed your Labor Day weekend as much as we did ours!
Friday, the SVP at work gave us all the go-ahead to start the weekend early about 2pm. My friend, Katelyn and I made a quick run out to Hendersonville to our boss Sherri's house to "shop" in her closet. Sherri and I wear about the same size clothing but she has MUCH better taste than I do! If you see me in a really cute outfit, that's because I got it from her stash! Katelyn is lucky enough to wear the same size shoe so she went and got a couple pairs of shoes. After I went through the clothes and Katelyn went through the shoes, I loaded up the "discards". The last spring cleaning Sherri did went into our yardsale. This time, I think I might do an upscale consignment. It's a win-win because I take all the stuff off her hands and then I get the benefit from selling it. Seeing that I'm going to need to do some fundraising for the adoption, I might try the consignment route. These clothes are not K-Mart special clothes either...they are NICE clothes. And I found quickly that they didn't bring a tiny fraction of what they were worth in a yard sale. If you know of a good, high end consignment store in the area, tell me about it!
Jenna had a school activity on Friday night until 10pm, so I met Steve for dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant in town (moment of silence for it is closing in a few weeks) and then I went back to work to play catch-up until time to get JG. Since vacation, I have had a hard time getting motivated to work which has really put me behind. I made some good headway Friday night.
Saturday was just a day to hang out. We did some window-shopping at Best Buy for me a new laptop (which we did NOT purchase) and then to Kroger Marketplace where we purchased the new mini-couch that will go in our bonus room when we redo the rooms for our new daughter. I can't wait to get those all set up. Pictures to come! Saturday night, Steve sat with our elderly friend and JG and I went to hang out around the firepit with our friends the Moores. It was a great time and the company was excellent considering we would have been sitting home alone.
Sunday was chock full of church activites. I only had 2 sweet babies in the nursery, most likely due to the holiday. I had 2 meetings set for after church, but both canceled, so I got to finish laundry and hang out at home. Steve was so jealous of the firepit fun we had with the Moores, that we set up our own pit and had some hotdogs for the second night in a row! Jenna and I went and got pedicures and then some ice cream. She told me several times, "This is the best day EVER!"...she apparently has her expectations set VERY low (there's a deep lesson in there somewhere...)
Today, Steve and JG went and sat with our elderly friend again and I went to work. Yeah, you heard me...I spent most of the day at work...playing catch up and trying to save my days off for when I return from South Africa. I tell you...in the hours I was there today, I knocked out a TON of stuff. I feel so good about where I ended up. I'm sure that will be short lived, but I'm enjoying it for now.
After we all got back home, here is what our evening looked like in pictures...
Yum! I hope you enjoyed your Labor Day weekend as much as we did ours!
9.02.2010
A little time to brag (and yes, an adoption update!)
So, I thought it was time for an update, but first, I want to take time to brag on my girl. At school, they have been "leveling" each student on their reading. Over the summer, the librarian and teachers went through the entire library and "leveled" every book. So basically each book is assigned a color, associated number and points based on how hard the book is. This year the first order of business for all the teachers was to test their students' reading abilities to be able to determine which colored level they are on.
Let me just caveat this by saying for those of you who don't know me, I am a HUGE reader. There are two things that I love doing (outside spending time with my family) that very few things trump. That is reading and scrapbooking. Last year, I averaged a book every 10-15 days. I was a reading machine. The one thing I wanted for Jenna was for her to love to read as much as I did. Not only because I love to read and that's something we can share, but because I believe the primary building block to a good student and school career is to be a good reader. I think so many people who hate reading never really learned to read well. When you struggle with something, it's hard to like it. For me, I struggled with math. So I hated math (still do, but don't tell Jenna). Anyway, I really wanted JG to like to read and to read well. I have read to Jenna since she was a newborn. I remember rocking her, when she was just a few weeks old, at night and reading CS Lewis' The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe. I know it's not really a newborn book, but it was an excuse for me to read too! Anyway, I digress.
Wednesday, her folder with her work from school came home. In it was a report on how she was leveled for reading...Here's how it starts..."Grade Equivalent (GE): 5.3 Grade equivalent scores range from 0.0 to12.9+. A GE score shows how your child's test performance compares with that of other students nationally. Based on the national norms, Jenna reads at a level equal to that of a typical fifth grader after the third month of the school year." DID YOU GET THAT!? My 3rd grade girl reads like a 5th grader!!!!! Be still my heart. When I read that, I thought my heart would explode. I am so proud! Her %ile rank is 91. That means Jenna reads at a level greater than 91% of students nationally in the same grade. OK, thank you for indulging me in bragging on my sweet baby girl for a minute.
In other school goings on...One of the stories Jenna's class was reading this week was about a therapy dog. Jenna's teacher thought it might be fun to have Steve come and bring Katie and talk about his service dog. On Wednesday, the entire 3rd grade gathered in the gym and listened to Steve talk about Katie. I wish I had gone and taken pictures because from the stories, it was great fun. Steve demonstrated many of Katie's tricks such as "tap" and "hide and seek". Hide and seek is our favorite because you run hide and Steve tells Katie to "find Jenna" and she will come find you. This is helpful if Steve happens to get sick in the house somewhere and Katie can then take Jenna or I to him (not that we have such a big house we couldn't just find him ourselves!) As a thank you, the class all wrote letters to Steve and I just had to post a couple of them here. This one is my favorite:
"Dear Mr. Taylor, Thanks so much for coming! I never have known that dogs can do that. All my dog can do is sit and lay down. Hank." I mean, how stinkin' funny cute is that?!
Here's one from Jenna's bestie, Annabelle:
"Dear Mr. Taylor, Thank you so much for coming to us and telling us what Katie's Job is. My favorite part was when you told her find Jenna and I'm so glad that you came. From, Annabelle." That is the sweetest thing I have ever read. But I would have expected nothing less from Annabelle.
Now for an adoption update...I had quite the enjoyable lunch earlier this week with a new friend I made who is also adopting from China's Special Needs program in a sister agency. It was so refreshing to have someone to talk to who is going through this crazy process too! Thank Rachel! Let's do that again soon!
Earlier this week, I had my one on one home study with our social worker. It felt a little like being in the psychiatrist's office. But you know me...I'm an open book, so that was right up my alley. I finally got my newly issued birth and marriage certificates (because they have to be reissued in the 12 month period in which you submit your dossier to China) so that is a huge load off. We have several more visits before we are ready to call the home study done. Then the dossier happens. Holy cow.
One of the things we are required to do as part of our home study is read (GLORY!) 3 required books and 2 books each (2 for me, 2 for Steve) of our choice, from a list. So, I have ordered several from Amazon and one from the library. Here are a couple of them that have already come.
You see that one about Lifebooks? Mmmhmmm...those are my two loves together...scrapbooking and reading. Lifebooks are basically scrapbooks for adopted children. I can't wait to dig into it.
One more thing and then I'm going to try and get in bed before too late. This is a big prayer request that I hope those of you who know us can understand. We have confirmed what we thought all along. It is not going to be possible for Katie to travel to China when we go to pick up our daughter. First of all, the flight is a super-long one for an animal to take. It would require us to deprive her of both food and drink for at least one entire day before we leave. And once you leave the US, you are no longer covered by the ADA. To take her to China would require a total of 30 day quarantine upon entering the country. So we'd have to be in China for 6 weeks. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. Not even if we had the money. So now, we are left with two choices; find someone to keep Katie or Steve doesn't travel.
Each of these are big deals. I don't worry about Katie losing her training while Steve's gone. What I worry about is the fact this dog has NEVER been away from Steve longer than 15 minutes since they were partnered. I am concerned that Katie might worry herself to death if we all left and left her with a stranger. We'd have to basically have someone who could come stay with her at our house and take her everywhere with them. Obviously not something that would be easy to find. Or Steve can stay here while I travel. While this is not ideal, it happens all the time. I wouldn't travel alone though. Someone in the family would go with me. I've had several volunteers already. :) But obviously, that's not idea either as Steve would be missing out on one of the biggest events of our lives. Can I ask you to pray about that? I feel like we are in a "lesser of two evils" situation. What I know is that this has been ordained by God and whatever is meant to be will work out. But the stress of thinking about it in the meantime is hard.
Well, I'm off. Got some bloggy reading to do and then off to bed because TGIF! I promise that FAQ is coming soon...just need some time to get it all down for you.
Let me just caveat this by saying for those of you who don't know me, I am a HUGE reader. There are two things that I love doing (outside spending time with my family) that very few things trump. That is reading and scrapbooking. Last year, I averaged a book every 10-15 days. I was a reading machine. The one thing I wanted for Jenna was for her to love to read as much as I did. Not only because I love to read and that's something we can share, but because I believe the primary building block to a good student and school career is to be a good reader. I think so many people who hate reading never really learned to read well. When you struggle with something, it's hard to like it. For me, I struggled with math. So I hated math (still do, but don't tell Jenna). Anyway, I really wanted JG to like to read and to read well. I have read to Jenna since she was a newborn. I remember rocking her, when she was just a few weeks old, at night and reading CS Lewis' The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe. I know it's not really a newborn book, but it was an excuse for me to read too! Anyway, I digress.
Wednesday, her folder with her work from school came home. In it was a report on how she was leveled for reading...Here's how it starts..."Grade Equivalent (GE): 5.3 Grade equivalent scores range from 0.0 to12.9+. A GE score shows how your child's test performance compares with that of other students nationally. Based on the national norms, Jenna reads at a level equal to that of a typical fifth grader after the third month of the school year." DID YOU GET THAT!? My 3rd grade girl reads like a 5th grader!!!!! Be still my heart. When I read that, I thought my heart would explode. I am so proud! Her %ile rank is 91. That means Jenna reads at a level greater than 91% of students nationally in the same grade. OK, thank you for indulging me in bragging on my sweet baby girl for a minute.
In other school goings on...One of the stories Jenna's class was reading this week was about a therapy dog. Jenna's teacher thought it might be fun to have Steve come and bring Katie and talk about his service dog. On Wednesday, the entire 3rd grade gathered in the gym and listened to Steve talk about Katie. I wish I had gone and taken pictures because from the stories, it was great fun. Steve demonstrated many of Katie's tricks such as "tap" and "hide and seek". Hide and seek is our favorite because you run hide and Steve tells Katie to "find Jenna" and she will come find you. This is helpful if Steve happens to get sick in the house somewhere and Katie can then take Jenna or I to him (not that we have such a big house we couldn't just find him ourselves!) As a thank you, the class all wrote letters to Steve and I just had to post a couple of them here. This one is my favorite:
Here's one from Jenna's bestie, Annabelle:
"Dear Mr. Taylor, Thank you so much for coming to us and telling us what Katie's Job is. My favorite part was when you told her find Jenna and I'm so glad that you came. From, Annabelle." That is the sweetest thing I have ever read. But I would have expected nothing less from Annabelle.
Now for an adoption update...I had quite the enjoyable lunch earlier this week with a new friend I made who is also adopting from China's Special Needs program in a sister agency. It was so refreshing to have someone to talk to who is going through this crazy process too! Thank Rachel! Let's do that again soon!
Earlier this week, I had my one on one home study with our social worker. It felt a little like being in the psychiatrist's office. But you know me...I'm an open book, so that was right up my alley. I finally got my newly issued birth and marriage certificates (because they have to be reissued in the 12 month period in which you submit your dossier to China) so that is a huge load off. We have several more visits before we are ready to call the home study done. Then the dossier happens. Holy cow.
One of the things we are required to do as part of our home study is read (GLORY!) 3 required books and 2 books each (2 for me, 2 for Steve) of our choice, from a list. So, I have ordered several from Amazon and one from the library. Here are a couple of them that have already come.
One more thing and then I'm going to try and get in bed before too late. This is a big prayer request that I hope those of you who know us can understand. We have confirmed what we thought all along. It is not going to be possible for Katie to travel to China when we go to pick up our daughter. First of all, the flight is a super-long one for an animal to take. It would require us to deprive her of both food and drink for at least one entire day before we leave. And once you leave the US, you are no longer covered by the ADA. To take her to China would require a total of 30 day quarantine upon entering the country. So we'd have to be in China for 6 weeks. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. Not even if we had the money. So now, we are left with two choices; find someone to keep Katie or Steve doesn't travel.
Each of these are big deals. I don't worry about Katie losing her training while Steve's gone. What I worry about is the fact this dog has NEVER been away from Steve longer than 15 minutes since they were partnered. I am concerned that Katie might worry herself to death if we all left and left her with a stranger. We'd have to basically have someone who could come stay with her at our house and take her everywhere with them. Obviously not something that would be easy to find. Or Steve can stay here while I travel. While this is not ideal, it happens all the time. I wouldn't travel alone though. Someone in the family would go with me. I've had several volunteers already. :) But obviously, that's not idea either as Steve would be missing out on one of the biggest events of our lives. Can I ask you to pray about that? I feel like we are in a "lesser of two evils" situation. What I know is that this has been ordained by God and whatever is meant to be will work out. But the stress of thinking about it in the meantime is hard.
Well, I'm off. Got some bloggy reading to do and then off to bed because TGIF! I promise that FAQ is coming soon...just need some time to get it all down for you.
8.29.2010
Updates and Changes
I know I promised to do frequent updates, but it just ain't happenin'. Unless you've been through it, you wouldn't believe how a paper chase can consume your entire life. I have made copies, scanned, emailed and requested paperwork of all kinds. This is kind of what it looks like for me.
I have a colored folder for different papers just so I can keep them all straight. Right now, we are just trying to get through the home study, but then comes the dossier. More on the dossier and what it is at a later date.
But right now, here's where we are at...we have had our first home study visit as a couple. Next week is my one on one visit with the social worker. The week following is Steve's one on one visit and then the week before I leave for South Africa will be our final home study visit which is in our home with Jenna.
In case you are wondering (and I'm sure all 3 of you are), the home study report written by the social worker (after many interviews and documents gathered) that in essence says we are capable of parenting an adopted child. The first visit was very low key and we just talked about how we got to this point and why we wanted to adopt. What is funny is that right before we each started to tell our version of why and how, I made fun of Steve because I knew he'd get all choked up over it (he's getting soft in his old age!). Well, guess who breaks down sobbing, and I do mean SOBBING, right in the middle of her story? Yup. There I sat in Panera bread sobbing away with a bunch of people eating bagels and wondering what in the world is wrong with me. I don't know...talking about how God has taken care of us especially this year and last and how He brought me here never knowing this is where I'd end up...well, I can't talk about it without getting emotional. One of the ministers at church says never to apologize for your tears because they are a testimony to what you care about most (paraphrase) and I love that. Mostly because I cry all the time.
So, what's next? Well, we both have doctor's forms that need to be filled out, background checks and fingerprinting. My doctor forms won't be hard because last time I checked, I was healthy as could be. But since I am overdue for a physical anyway, I have that set up in a couple weeks. Steve's will be more challenging because he has to account for his insulin and his other medications he takes. Then finally there are a couple more pieces of paperwork that have to be taken care of for the home study, but that's about it.
I'm working on a FAQ post now. That's is coming soon (relatively speaking). Speaking of coming soon, you may have noticed a title change to the blog. I've been wanting to re-do my blog for a long time now, but just never taken the time to do it. My friend Katelyn and I have a mutual love for the Michael Buble song which obviously inspired my title. Katelyn is a communications guru and so she helped me with the tag line (more like she wrote it with NO help from me). I love it very much. And keep watching...there are BIG changes coming soon to my blog. And for those of you who read through Google Reader, take a minute to hop over and see what my blog looks like now. That way you can be amazed and awed when the changes are made. :)
OK, I'm off to love on my babies in the church nursery. And just in case I haven't mentioned it lately, I LOVE my church. If you are in the area and don't LOVE your church, allow me to show you why I love mine.
Happy SUNDAY!
(my friend KB tells me I must include pictures as I go through this process)
I have a colored folder for different papers just so I can keep them all straight. Right now, we are just trying to get through the home study, but then comes the dossier. More on the dossier and what it is at a later date.
But right now, here's where we are at...we have had our first home study visit as a couple. Next week is my one on one visit with the social worker. The week following is Steve's one on one visit and then the week before I leave for South Africa will be our final home study visit which is in our home with Jenna.
In case you are wondering (and I'm sure all 3 of you are), the home study report written by the social worker (after many interviews and documents gathered) that in essence says we are capable of parenting an adopted child. The first visit was very low key and we just talked about how we got to this point and why we wanted to adopt. What is funny is that right before we each started to tell our version of why and how, I made fun of Steve because I knew he'd get all choked up over it (he's getting soft in his old age!). Well, guess who breaks down sobbing, and I do mean SOBBING, right in the middle of her story? Yup. There I sat in Panera bread sobbing away with a bunch of people eating bagels and wondering what in the world is wrong with me. I don't know...talking about how God has taken care of us especially this year and last and how He brought me here never knowing this is where I'd end up...well, I can't talk about it without getting emotional. One of the ministers at church says never to apologize for your tears because they are a testimony to what you care about most (paraphrase) and I love that. Mostly because I cry all the time.
So, what's next? Well, we both have doctor's forms that need to be filled out, background checks and fingerprinting. My doctor forms won't be hard because last time I checked, I was healthy as could be. But since I am overdue for a physical anyway, I have that set up in a couple weeks. Steve's will be more challenging because he has to account for his insulin and his other medications he takes. Then finally there are a couple more pieces of paperwork that have to be taken care of for the home study, but that's about it.
I'm working on a FAQ post now. That's is coming soon (relatively speaking). Speaking of coming soon, you may have noticed a title change to the blog. I've been wanting to re-do my blog for a long time now, but just never taken the time to do it. My friend Katelyn and I have a mutual love for the Michael Buble song which obviously inspired my title. Katelyn is a communications guru and so she helped me with the tag line (more like she wrote it with NO help from me). I love it very much. And keep watching...there are BIG changes coming soon to my blog. And for those of you who read through Google Reader, take a minute to hop over and see what my blog looks like now. That way you can be amazed and awed when the changes are made. :)
OK, I'm off to love on my babies in the church nursery. And just in case I haven't mentioned it lately, I LOVE my church. If you are in the area and don't LOVE your church, allow me to show you why I love mine.
Happy SUNDAY!
8.24.2010
Donate!
There will be many-a-fundraiser coming soon for the Taylors, however, if you feel led to donate to help bring our little girl home, just click on the "DONATE" button there to your right...you can use your credit card and any donations will go straight to my Paypal account which is connected to our adoption fund here at a local bank.
If donating online is not for you, stay tuned for more exciting fundraising information!
If donating online is not for you, stay tuned for more exciting fundraising information!
8.23.2010
Adoption Fundraiser for the Locals
Some of you may know my friend Rachel. I might have mentioned her a time or three on this blog. Well, I'm happy to be able to share some exciting news with you. She and her family are adopting too! I am thrilled to have my bestest buddy to share this journey with. She is adopting a little girl, aged 3 - 4 years from Ethiopia. Now, just how cool is that? Our girls now are super good friends and now they will have little sisters who will be just as close! Isn't our God good?
Here's the deal for you locals who haven't heard...there's a little fundraiser going on for the Millsaps. And all you have to do is eat dinner. But not just ANY dinner...CHICK-FIL-A dinner! And who doesn't LOVE Chick Fil A?
Here are the deets...
When? Monday, August 30th from 5:00p.m. - 8:00p.m.
What? A percentage of your purchase will go to the Millsaps
How? Once you have checked out, please be sure to hand your receipts to Rachel or her husband, David
(They will have to turn those in at the end of the evening)
Where? Chick-Fil-A 1105 Shadow Green Drive Franklin, TN 37064 615-794-8180
I will be there celebrating with them and I hope to see you there too.
Come on out! Spread the word to your neighbors! Heck, treat your neighbors to a yummy dinner! And then you can say you were part of bringing their little girl home. How cool is that?
Here's the deal for you locals who haven't heard...there's a little fundraiser going on for the Millsaps. And all you have to do is eat dinner. But not just ANY dinner...CHICK-FIL-A dinner! And who doesn't LOVE Chick Fil A?
Here are the deets...
When? Monday, August 30th from 5:00p.m. - 8:00p.m.
What? A percentage of your purchase will go to the Millsaps
How? Once you have checked out, please be sure to hand your receipts to Rachel or her husband, David
(They will have to turn those in at the end of the evening)
Where? Chick-Fil-A 1105 Shadow Green Drive Franklin, TN 37064 615-794-8180
I will be there celebrating with them and I hope to see you there too.
Come on out! Spread the word to your neighbors! Heck, treat your neighbors to a yummy dinner! And then you can say you were part of bringing their little girl home. How cool is that?
8.20.2010
I think we killed a tree
Adoption Update
Now that we are approved to adopt from China, we have to begin working to complete the homestudy and the dossier (which is a jacked up version of the homestudy that goes to China eventually).
Yesterday we received an email from our Family Coordinator at AWAA along with 7...yes, SEVEN...attachments. The combined total pages of all these documents was 65 pages. And they aren't just forms to fill out. They are documents and guidelines and lists. All to be read, requested, signed or gathered. Looking at it all, I thought I might hyperventilate.
Until today.
We just received an email from our Social Worker at AWAA. This one included 11 attachments and 31 pages. Some are similar or the same as the dossier paperwork, but I feel like I have murdered a tree. And if I thought I might hyperventilate last night, now I REALLY think I might.
I know my fellow adoptive friends are laughing because they remember oh so well the overwhelming feeling of drowning in paperwork and wondering how in the world it will ever get done.
Anyway, I just wanted to keep you updated because several of you have asked that I update my blog often to let you know how things are going. And because I'm a scrapbooker, I want to be sure and use this to keep a journal of what has happened.
So far...
August 5, 2010 - submitted application
August 13, 2010 - received acceptance into China program
August 13, 2010 - received contracts and AWAA documents to sign
August 17, 2010 - documents signed and overnighted back to AWAA
August 19, 2010 - assigned family coordinator "A". Received dossier prep documents
August 20, 2010 - assigned social worker "S". Received home study prep documents
And our next steps? For the dossier it's to read all the papers and make a list of questions. Next week we will speak with A who will answer all our questions and get us pointed in the right direction to get started.
For the homestudy, we'll review these documents, gather some of the information needed and wait for S to call and set up the first appointment.
I know some of you will have many questions about the process and I would love to answer them. Just send them to me and I'll answer them here on the blog as best I can.
For now, I'm off to enjoy the weekend and maybe read a little. :)
Now that we are approved to adopt from China, we have to begin working to complete the homestudy and the dossier (which is a jacked up version of the homestudy that goes to China eventually).
Yesterday we received an email from our Family Coordinator at AWAA along with 7...yes, SEVEN...attachments. The combined total pages of all these documents was 65 pages. And they aren't just forms to fill out. They are documents and guidelines and lists. All to be read, requested, signed or gathered. Looking at it all, I thought I might hyperventilate.
Until today.
We just received an email from our Social Worker at AWAA. This one included 11 attachments and 31 pages. Some are similar or the same as the dossier paperwork, but I feel like I have murdered a tree. And if I thought I might hyperventilate last night, now I REALLY think I might.
I know my fellow adoptive friends are laughing because they remember oh so well the overwhelming feeling of drowning in paperwork and wondering how in the world it will ever get done.
Anyway, I just wanted to keep you updated because several of you have asked that I update my blog often to let you know how things are going. And because I'm a scrapbooker, I want to be sure and use this to keep a journal of what has happened.
So far...
August 5, 2010 - submitted application
August 13, 2010 - received acceptance into China program
August 13, 2010 - received contracts and AWAA documents to sign
August 17, 2010 - documents signed and overnighted back to AWAA
August 19, 2010 - assigned family coordinator "A". Received dossier prep documents
August 20, 2010 - assigned social worker "S". Received home study prep documents
And our next steps? For the dossier it's to read all the papers and make a list of questions. Next week we will speak with A who will answer all our questions and get us pointed in the right direction to get started.
For the homestudy, we'll review these documents, gather some of the information needed and wait for S to call and set up the first appointment.
I know some of you will have many questions about the process and I would love to answer them. Just send them to me and I'll answer them here on the blog as best I can.
For now, I'm off to enjoy the weekend and maybe read a little. :)
8.19.2010
Reactions...
Thought you might enjoy seeing some of the first words from emails I received in response to my "We're adopting" email...they made me smile and I hope they make you smile too! BTW, these are pretty much verbatim...
"so EXCITING"
"WOW"
"WHOA!!!!!!!"
"Congratulations!"
"How exciting!"
"What????!!!?????"
"Wow! Congratulations!"
"Oh Sandra!"
"Oh wowowowow!!!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
"HOLY CRAP!!!!" (this was my favorite)
"Oh....my...gosh!!!!"
"What!!!!!!!!!!!"
"HOLY COW!!!!"
"so EXCITING"
"WOW"
"WHOA!!!!!!!"
"Congratulations!"
"How exciting!"
"What????!!!?????"
"Wow! Congratulations!"
"Oh Sandra!"
"Oh wowowowow!!!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
"HOLY CRAP!!!!" (this was my favorite)
"Oh....my...gosh!!!!"
"What!!!!!!!!!!!"
"HOLY COW!!!!"
8.18.2010
South Africa
I leave for South Africa in a little over a month. And now that the realization has set in that I'm going on this trip with a bunch of people I don't know very well, I'm starting to get nervous. I'm counting my PTO days and wondering how the heck I am going to make this all work out.
I'm still more than $1000 short of having the trip paid for and I'm starting to think maybe I should be asking folks for financial support even though a few months ago I felt sure God was telling me not to. This is where I'm starting to feel Satan's attack. He has stolen my excitement for the trip and replaced it with doubt and worry. I'm about to send out my prayer support letters. Regardless of whether you receive one or not, I covet your prayer support. In fact, I really need it.
And if you feel LED to give financially, I won't argue! OK, totally kidding. But do pray for peace about that part of it. I'll keep you posted!
I'm still more than $1000 short of having the trip paid for and I'm starting to think maybe I should be asking folks for financial support even though a few months ago I felt sure God was telling me not to. This is where I'm starting to feel Satan's attack. He has stolen my excitement for the trip and replaced it with doubt and worry. I'm about to send out my prayer support letters. Regardless of whether you receive one or not, I covet your prayer support. In fact, I really need it.
And if you feel LED to give financially, I won't argue! OK, totally kidding. But do pray for peace about that part of it. I'll keep you posted!
8.17.2010
A New Addition...
To our family.
Yes, you read right.
We are adopting.
From China.
I know what you are thinking. “Wow.” Guess what? ME TOO. I know the news that we are adopting may come as a surprise to many all of my readers. It certainly has been the emotion of choice for those we have told in person. Trust me, none of you are any more surprised to find me in this position as I am myself.
And as many adoptive parents find, the main question is “why”. The short answer to why is that we feel it is what God is leading us to do.
Most of you know I have always desired a larger family, but after the very quick and successful IVF to have Jenna, we were unable to produce a sibling. We went through several cycles and a lot of money. After that, we decided we were done trying. Until we found a friend whose husband had a very successful reversal surgery and she ended up getting pregnant. The cost of the surgeon they used was very reasonable, so we figured we might as well try. The surgery was painful for Steve and not successful in a myriad of ways. I promised Steve when he went through that (God bless him) that I would be done if it wasn't successful. And since we weren’t, I kept my promise.
Almost.
I broached the subject of adoption with Steve several years ago. I even contacted an agency and got some information. But he was definitely not interested and gently reminded me that I had made him a promise. Despite that, I felt like God wasn’t finished with us yet. I felt like I would have another child, but I didn’t know when or how. And when you think of it, there are MANY ways to be a parent.
And after so long, I started to think maybe I’d been wrong about that. I kept asking why God would put that desire in my heart but not fulfill it. After several years passed, I finally came to the place where I could ask God to just help me be content with the size my family was. And amazingly, He was doing that. I started to see all the good things about being a parent to an only child instead of dwelling on the less-than-desirable things. Last summer when Steve lost his job and the economy was so bad, I thought that must be the reason we never had a second child…because how could we afford another? Then last Spring, the Bible study group I’m part of, went through two series back to back that changed my life. The first was Crazy Love by Frances Chan. The next was the Radical series of sermons by David Platt. Slowly, we begin to think about what we could do to help others when Steve was employed again, rather than what all we could do for ourselves (new computer, new car, bigger house etc.). At the same time, I watched as two couples in our church walked the journey of international adoption. Secretly I hoped that Steve was watching too, but I didn’t dare hope (oh, my faith was SO weak).
About a month ago, on our way home from church, Steve just brought it up in a conversation we were having. I was stunned. I’m a talker, so I don’t normally find myself speechless, but I’ll tell you that day, I WAS. In fact, I was so stunned that I didn’t mention it again for a couple days because I was afraid I might have misunderstood or that he really hadn’t meant it the way I thought. As the days passed, we opened up with each other and talked about it more. Miraculously, we were on the same page in nearly every aspect. We prayed about it with Jenna and with each other and here we are.
I did once ask him why the change and his answer? "I don't know". I guess that's the way God works sometimes. He changes you slowly so that you don't even know it's happening until you wake up and realize the way you used to be isn't the way you are anymore.
That is the simplified version. We don’t know how we are going to pay for the adoption. We do have some money in savings, but that isn’t going to be nearly enough to cover it all. There are what feels like hundreds of questions that are still to be answered. But we believe with all our hearts that God had opened this door and answered this prayer for us.
The facts for now is that we have been accepted into the China Waiting Children program through America World Adoption Agency. This is the agency that Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife went through to adopt their three girls. It is a wonderful Christian agency and offline, I’d be thrilled to tell you how and why we chose them. It was a God thing all the way (which is just as my friend Jamie told me it would be!) We are now getting ready to start the home study. The step after that will be the dossier. It’s a long process and I’ll explain in more detail in a later post. For now, pray for our new little daughter…wherever she is.
And keep visiting...watch as we bring our girl home!
Yes, you read right.
We are adopting.
From China.
I know what you are thinking. “Wow.” Guess what? ME TOO. I know the news that we are adopting may come as a surprise to many all of my readers. It certainly has been the emotion of choice for those we have told in person. Trust me, none of you are any more surprised to find me in this position as I am myself.
And as many adoptive parents find, the main question is “why”. The short answer to why is that we feel it is what God is leading us to do.
Most of you know I have always desired a larger family, but after the very quick and successful IVF to have Jenna, we were unable to produce a sibling. We went through several cycles and a lot of money. After that, we decided we were done trying. Until we found a friend whose husband had a very successful reversal surgery and she ended up getting pregnant. The cost of the surgeon they used was very reasonable, so we figured we might as well try. The surgery was painful for Steve and not successful in a myriad of ways. I promised Steve when he went through that (God bless him) that I would be done if it wasn't successful. And since we weren’t, I kept my promise.
Almost.
I broached the subject of adoption with Steve several years ago. I even contacted an agency and got some information. But he was definitely not interested and gently reminded me that I had made him a promise. Despite that, I felt like God wasn’t finished with us yet. I felt like I would have another child, but I didn’t know when or how. And when you think of it, there are MANY ways to be a parent.
And after so long, I started to think maybe I’d been wrong about that. I kept asking why God would put that desire in my heart but not fulfill it. After several years passed, I finally came to the place where I could ask God to just help me be content with the size my family was. And amazingly, He was doing that. I started to see all the good things about being a parent to an only child instead of dwelling on the less-than-desirable things. Last summer when Steve lost his job and the economy was so bad, I thought that must be the reason we never had a second child…because how could we afford another? Then last Spring, the Bible study group I’m part of, went through two series back to back that changed my life. The first was Crazy Love by Frances Chan. The next was the Radical series of sermons by David Platt. Slowly, we begin to think about what we could do to help others when Steve was employed again, rather than what all we could do for ourselves (new computer, new car, bigger house etc.). At the same time, I watched as two couples in our church walked the journey of international adoption. Secretly I hoped that Steve was watching too, but I didn’t dare hope (oh, my faith was SO weak).
About a month ago, on our way home from church, Steve just brought it up in a conversation we were having. I was stunned. I’m a talker, so I don’t normally find myself speechless, but I’ll tell you that day, I WAS. In fact, I was so stunned that I didn’t mention it again for a couple days because I was afraid I might have misunderstood or that he really hadn’t meant it the way I thought. As the days passed, we opened up with each other and talked about it more. Miraculously, we were on the same page in nearly every aspect. We prayed about it with Jenna and with each other and here we are.
I did once ask him why the change and his answer? "I don't know". I guess that's the way God works sometimes. He changes you slowly so that you don't even know it's happening until you wake up and realize the way you used to be isn't the way you are anymore.
That is the simplified version. We don’t know how we are going to pay for the adoption. We do have some money in savings, but that isn’t going to be nearly enough to cover it all. There are what feels like hundreds of questions that are still to be answered. But we believe with all our hearts that God had opened this door and answered this prayer for us.
The facts for now is that we have been accepted into the China Waiting Children program through America World Adoption Agency. This is the agency that Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife went through to adopt their three girls. It is a wonderful Christian agency and offline, I’d be thrilled to tell you how and why we chose them. It was a God thing all the way (which is just as my friend Jamie told me it would be!) We are now getting ready to start the home study. The step after that will be the dossier. It’s a long process and I’ll explain in more detail in a later post. For now, pray for our new little daughter…wherever she is.
And keep visiting...watch as we bring our girl home!
8.15.2010
Vacation...Day 7
Thursday was our last full day at Amelia Island, so we wanted to spend as much time on the beach as we could. We got up, had breakfast and headed out. It was a beautiful day. You could go out very far from the shore and still be only up to your ankles in water. We found a huge shell and a sand dollar!
Being that it was Shark Week on the Discovery channel, sharks were on my mind and so I had my eyes open for those and didn't venture too far out. But I wanted to see how far out I could walk before the water got too high. I was probably about 100 feet from Jenna walking out when I saw a fin go right through the water no more than 50 yards from where I was standing. I'll admit...I kind of panicked! I didn't scream, I just started heading back towards Jenna to herd her in to shore as fast as possible, all the while walking backwards and keeping my eyes on the water. About the time I reached Jenna, I saw it again...this time it surfaced and I could see it was clearly a dolphin! Actually, there were 2 of them swimming together. I showed Jenna and she was ecstatic! We watching them until they were far away and then saw them both jumping completely out of the water! It was a great way to end our vacation!
We ended up bringing our cooler to the beach and eating lunch out there. Finally we came in. We had dinner reservations at 7:00 so we decided to do a little more sighting on the resort. We went to the Nature Center which was really neat. They have a pond out back and there were turtles and you could feed them. Katie especially liked them!
After the Nature Center, we wanted to see more of the resort that wasn't in walking distance and this is the way we did it!
We all took turns driving (well, except Jenna, she wasn't allowed!) and there were some beautiful places for sale and rent. One of these days when I'm rich (ha!), I'm going to own a place on the beach! I have officially decided I don't want to live there because living there doesn't make it as special as when you only get to go every once in a while.
After riding around for a couple hours, we headed back to the room to get cleaned up for dinner at The Verandah. It was a great dinner and we had the most delicious dessert. Some kind of grilled bananas in caramel in a tulip type cup. Oh my word it was a delight!
Back at the room, we started packing up to leave the next morning. Check out on Friday was at 11:00 and we got out about 10:00 I guess. We didn't stop 1/2 way coming back the way we did when we were going. We got home about 7 or 8pm and got all unpacked and the house straightened up before we went to bed. I had done the laundry before we left, so it was all clean...best thing EVER!!!
We lazed around on Saturday...did a few errands, ate out etc., Jenna registers for school on Wednesday and then 1/2 day on Thursday and full day on Friday. I'm supposed to have this whole week off of work, but I might be going in a couple days just to save up on my PTO for my South Africa trip...
I'm glad to be home, but I sure am gonna miss this place!
We ended up bringing our cooler to the beach and eating lunch out there. Finally we came in. We had dinner reservations at 7:00 so we decided to do a little more sighting on the resort. We went to the Nature Center which was really neat. They have a pond out back and there were turtles and you could feed them. Katie especially liked them!
After riding around for a couple hours, we headed back to the room to get cleaned up for dinner at The Verandah. It was a great dinner and we had the most delicious dessert. Some kind of grilled bananas in caramel in a tulip type cup. Oh my word it was a delight!
Back at the room, we started packing up to leave the next morning. Check out on Friday was at 11:00 and we got out about 10:00 I guess. We didn't stop 1/2 way coming back the way we did when we were going. We got home about 7 or 8pm and got all unpacked and the house straightened up before we went to bed. I had done the laundry before we left, so it was all clean...best thing EVER!!!
We lazed around on Saturday...did a few errands, ate out etc., Jenna registers for school on Wednesday and then 1/2 day on Thursday and full day on Friday. I'm supposed to have this whole week off of work, but I might be going in a couple days just to save up on my PTO for my South Africa trip...
I'm glad to be home, but I sure am gonna miss this place!
8.14.2010
Vacation...Day 6
Wednesday we decided to take a break from the water play and go to the Jacksonville Zoo. By the time we all got up, got dressed and got TO the zoo, it was almost lunchtime.
It was a great zoo and we saw so many neat animals. Jenna even got to feed a giraffe.
And pet stingrays...
But it was H-O-T. I mean, unbearably hot. We hadn't really noticed the heat before because we were always in the pool or on the beach. We didn't get lunch until about 2pm and by the time we had seen almost everything in the zoo it was about time for it to close and we were done. We rode the train back over to the entrance and got the heck outta there.
Back at the resort, we hung out for a bit in the room while still cooling off and then spend a few hours in the pool late in the afternoon (since we'd had a super late lunch, we weren't hungry for dinner until later). We then ate at the Beach Grille which was on the resort. It was very good and within walking distance. For dessert we had chocolate fondue! OH YUM! Jenna had never had anything like that before and she was duly impressed. Granted, it was no Melting Pot, but it was good nonetheless. We are going to have to take her to Melting Pot soon...just for dessert.
Just to prove I WAS on this vacation...here's one of me and Steve...
Hahahahahahaha....
It was a great zoo and we saw so many neat animals. Jenna even got to feed a giraffe.
Just to prove I WAS on this vacation...here's one of me and Steve...
8.13.2010
Vacation...Day 5
I always seemed to wake up at the same time every day...7:30 (and that was Eastern, time so really it was 6:30am), but I figure when you are used to getting up at 5:30am, then sleeping an hour or so later IS sleeping late! When I'd wake up, I'd get up and sit on the balcony with my magazines and eat breakfast until everyone else got up. With a view like this, it was one of my favorite parts of the vacation!
On Tuesday, there was more of the same...pool in the morning, lunch in the room and then beach in the afternoon.
Jenna was dying to have some crab legs and there just wasn't anywhere on the resort to get them, so the only place we could find that had them was Red Lobster. So, that's where we went to dinner. And on Tuesday night, the place was practically deserted. But that was cool. We stopped at Target after to pick up a few more things.
Back at the resort, we all went out crab hunting. Jenna thought this was really fun...we ended up doing it every night we were there.
Jenna and Steve watched a movie back in the room, but my sinuses has been acting up (thanks to several mouths/noses full of chlorinated and/or salt water) so I went to bed early.
On Tuesday, there was more of the same...pool in the morning, lunch in the room and then beach in the afternoon.
Back at the resort, we all went out crab hunting. Jenna thought this was really fun...we ended up doing it every night we were there.
8.12.2010
Vacation...Day 4
On Monday, we decided to visit the pool right outside our window. So we ate a quick breakfast in the room (much cheaper than room service) and headed out. It was practically empty for quite a while. I guess most everyone else headed to the beach first thing. About 11:30, we went in, got dressed and headed out for some lunch.
We drove to Fernandina Beach and ate at the Subway. Then we popped into Winn Dixie to buy some lunch food for the rest of the week.
When we got back, we decided to explore some of the shops on the resort. Jenna went dressed in her bathing suit (for easy beach access when we returned!).
After we explored a little, we went to the beach and ended our day there. It was great fun and because it was later in the afternoon, there was barely anyone on the beach. All week the beach was not crowded at all. We were very pleased.
In the evening, we drove to historic Fernandina (think historic Franklin) and enjoyed some seafood at a little place called the Marina.
This was a picture of the marina (the place, not the restaurant) that I took. I am very happy with this picture. I turned the flash off, but used the railing nearby as a tripod and I think it turned out wonderfully!
It was late again when we got back so we hung out at the room. It was a very relaxing night.
When we got back, we decided to explore some of the shops on the resort. Jenna went dressed in her bathing suit (for easy beach access when we returned!).
After we explored a little, we went to the beach and ended our day there. It was great fun and because it was later in the afternoon, there was barely anyone on the beach. All week the beach was not crowded at all. We were very pleased.
In the evening, we drove to historic Fernandina (think historic Franklin) and enjoyed some seafood at a little place called the Marina.
It was late again when we got back so we hung out at the room. It was a very relaxing night.
8.11.2010
Vacation...Day 3
On Sunday, we had an early dinner planned with our Jacksonville family planned for 3pm, so we wanted to eat a big enough breakfast to tide us over until then so we ordered room service again. And oh heavens at the food! I thought about taking a picture of it, but I didn't and now I wish I had. There were yogurt and pancakes, bacon galore and bagels and cream cheese. There was really enough food for a family of 5 or more. And we sat on our balcony and ate breakfast. It was heavenly. This was our view from the balcony of our room. Another view a little to the left and you can actually see the ocean.
We then got ready to go to the beach for the morning. Jenna played in the waves, Katie played in the waves and Steve played in the sand.
About noon, Steve headed in to get Katie washed and Jenna and I followed and got showered and cleaned up. We met Tracey, Charles and Charley at Schooners in St. Augustine. If you remember (and I'm sure you don't, because no one really cares as much as I do), they introduced me to Schooners last year when Jenna and I spent a week in St. Augustine. They refuse photos, so I hijacked one from their Facebook page. They very well may unfriend me now, but it's worth it to show you this family I love so much!
After we finished with dinner, we wanted to hang out some more, so we drove to a nearby mall to walk around. That didn't last long though because on Sundays, the malls close pretty early, so they kicked us out, but not before visiting the chocolate store! We also stopped at WalMart to pick up a few things for the week like breakfast items and beach chairs.
It poured down rain while we were there and after we left, but when we got back to the resort, it was completely dry and this proved to be true anytime we encountered rain while away from the resort. Because St. Augustine was an hour and 1/2 away, it was late when we returned and so we just hung out in the room until bed.
After we finished with dinner, we wanted to hang out some more, so we drove to a nearby mall to walk around. That didn't last long though because on Sundays, the malls close pretty early, so they kicked us out, but not before visiting the chocolate store! We also stopped at WalMart to pick up a few things for the week like breakfast items and beach chairs.
It poured down rain while we were there and after we left, but when we got back to the resort, it was completely dry and this proved to be true anytime we encountered rain while away from the resort. Because St. Augustine was an hour and 1/2 away, it was late when we returned and so we just hung out in the room until bed.
8.10.2010
Vacation...Day 1 and 2
We just returned from vacation in Amelia Island, Florida. I didn't post about that because this is a public blog and I didn't want the world to know my house was empty. But I will share with you a little about our fun vacation before I forget.
My mother would be so disappointed that I wasn’t completely packed for vacation at least 2 weeks before we were set to leave. But I think I did pretty good. I had to work on Friday but had planned to leave after lunch. My thought was that if I could get on the road by 2pm, then I’d feel like we were doing good. Using MapQuest, I found a Hampton Inn in Macon, GA and made a reservation since we were planning to drive about ½ way on Friday afternoon. Steve was going to run the van in to the shop to get a small oil leak fixed before we left. The shop originally told him to be there at 7am so he was going to do that, then come back and pack the van and then pick me up from work and we’d head out. Thursday night, the shop called and said just to come in at 10. So Steve packed up the van before he left, drove all the way out there just to find that the wait was 3 hours to even start on it. NOT. GONNA. WORK. So, he and Jenna got some lunch and then came on to the office. I finished up my work lunch and then we got on the road.
I think we actually got on the road at 1pm Nashville time, so that wasn’t too bad. An hour before my goal and WAY better than an hour behind which is what I figured it would be. However, I had really busted my butt and put in some hours at work that week so I would feel good about leaving. If you can believe it, we hit very little traffic going through Atlanta and found the hotel easily. I gotta give Hampton props (actually, I think Hilton owns them). I have not yet stayed in a bad Hampton. I’m sure plenty of you have, but don’t tell me about it (unless you know I’m going to the same Hampton!). There was some kind of large group staying there with a bunch of teens who play tennis. The lobby was full of adults and kids but the front desk clerk was super friendly and made me laugh. The room was nice and clean and despite the large number of kids, tweens, teens and adults, we never heard any running or loud talking at all.
After checking in, we ate at Cheddars. I was very excited since I'd never eaten there before. But the service wasn't great and neither was the food. We were kind of disappointed.
None of us slept that well, but I guess that’s to be expected when you are in a different bed than your own. I finally got up at 8am (which is 7am home time) because my back was killing me and I couldn’t get comfortable. I showered and by the time I was done Steve, Jenna and Katie were up. We enjoyed a yummy, free continental breakfast at the Hampton, checked out and got on the road. We did OK until the GPS took us down these backroads to get to our destination rather than the interstate. We made a quick backtrack and only lost about 20 minutes.
We arrived to the resort at about 3:15 Eastern time, but the room wasn't ready until after 5pm so we took time to fill up with gas and just look around the resort. Once we got checked in, we did the obligatory walk to the beach where Jenna pretends she is not going to get wet in her clothes, but ends up getting soaked.
Once we got back to the room and her changed and us unpacked, we ordered room service (which was DELISH!) and then got in bed...
My mother would be so disappointed that I wasn’t completely packed for vacation at least 2 weeks before we were set to leave. But I think I did pretty good. I had to work on Friday but had planned to leave after lunch. My thought was that if I could get on the road by 2pm, then I’d feel like we were doing good. Using MapQuest, I found a Hampton Inn in Macon, GA and made a reservation since we were planning to drive about ½ way on Friday afternoon. Steve was going to run the van in to the shop to get a small oil leak fixed before we left. The shop originally told him to be there at 7am so he was going to do that, then come back and pack the van and then pick me up from work and we’d head out. Thursday night, the shop called and said just to come in at 10. So Steve packed up the van before he left, drove all the way out there just to find that the wait was 3 hours to even start on it. NOT. GONNA. WORK. So, he and Jenna got some lunch and then came on to the office. I finished up my work lunch and then we got on the road.
I think we actually got on the road at 1pm Nashville time, so that wasn’t too bad. An hour before my goal and WAY better than an hour behind which is what I figured it would be. However, I had really busted my butt and put in some hours at work that week so I would feel good about leaving. If you can believe it, we hit very little traffic going through Atlanta and found the hotel easily. I gotta give Hampton props (actually, I think Hilton owns them). I have not yet stayed in a bad Hampton. I’m sure plenty of you have, but don’t tell me about it (unless you know I’m going to the same Hampton!). There was some kind of large group staying there with a bunch of teens who play tennis. The lobby was full of adults and kids but the front desk clerk was super friendly and made me laugh. The room was nice and clean and despite the large number of kids, tweens, teens and adults, we never heard any running or loud talking at all.
After checking in, we ate at Cheddars. I was very excited since I'd never eaten there before. But the service wasn't great and neither was the food. We were kind of disappointed.
None of us slept that well, but I guess that’s to be expected when you are in a different bed than your own. I finally got up at 8am (which is 7am home time) because my back was killing me and I couldn’t get comfortable. I showered and by the time I was done Steve, Jenna and Katie were up. We enjoyed a yummy, free continental breakfast at the Hampton, checked out and got on the road. We did OK until the GPS took us down these backroads to get to our destination rather than the interstate. We made a quick backtrack and only lost about 20 minutes.
We arrived to the resort at about 3:15 Eastern time, but the room wasn't ready until after 5pm so we took time to fill up with gas and just look around the resort. Once we got checked in, we did the obligatory walk to the beach where Jenna pretends she is not going to get wet in her clothes, but ends up getting soaked.
8.09.2010
Book Review: Blind Hope
I'm a tiny bit behind on this book review because I had saved it to go with me on vacation, but it was worth the wait!
Blind Hope, written by Kim Meeder and Laurie Sacher, is wonderful book about Laurie and her journey through her broken dreams and the healing that came from rescuing a dog in need.
Without revealing too much of the plot, Laurie's life dreams are shattered when she comes to work for Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch where broken horses and broken children come to find healing. Laurie ends up rescuing a dog in need but soon realizes that her dog, even though blind, is rescuing HER.
"As Laurie and her dog, Mia, both learned to follow the lead of a master they couldn't see, Laurie discovered the transforming power of God's grace even for imperfect and selfish people - and she experienced a greater love than she had ever known."
This is the sweetest story and especially touching if you are an animal lover and this book is a TRUE STORY. It is an easy read. I started the book when we were leaving the beach and had it finished before we stopped for lunch.
As with all my book reviews, I have a copy to share. If you are interested, just leave a comment below. First one to comment gets the book.
If you want to purchase the book, please go here and order...
Blind Hope, written by Kim Meeder and Laurie Sacher, is wonderful book about Laurie and her journey through her broken dreams and the healing that came from rescuing a dog in need.
Without revealing too much of the plot, Laurie's life dreams are shattered when she comes to work for Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch where broken horses and broken children come to find healing. Laurie ends up rescuing a dog in need but soon realizes that her dog, even though blind, is rescuing HER.
"As Laurie and her dog, Mia, both learned to follow the lead of a master they couldn't see, Laurie discovered the transforming power of God's grace even for imperfect and selfish people - and she experienced a greater love than she had ever known."
This is the sweetest story and especially touching if you are an animal lover and this book is a TRUE STORY. It is an easy read. I started the book when we were leaving the beach and had it finished before we stopped for lunch.
As with all my book reviews, I have a copy to share. If you are interested, just leave a comment below. First one to comment gets the book.
If you want to purchase the book, please go here and order...
7.22.2010
New Look
So, I gave my blog a new look. One of these days, I am going to either fork out the cash to have a professional do it or I'm going to win a free makeover. Yeah. Someday.
I'm trying to do better about blogging. I realize I have really slacked off. We have been totally off our schedule this summer. And speaking of summer...WHERE DID IT GO!? It's almost over. I mean, we are literally just a few weeks from school starting again. Yowzers.
Steve got his books and access to his online classes today. To say he is overwhelmed is quite an understatement. It's been a long time since he was in school and so he's a little...well, overwhelmed. I can tell you we'll be doing a lot of praying over the next year!
I'm very ready for this week to be over. We have plans on Saturday with an old high school friend and her girls at the Adventure Science Center. We are looking forward to it. I just hope it's not too crowded since it will be cool inside!
I'm trying to do better about blogging. I realize I have really slacked off. We have been totally off our schedule this summer. And speaking of summer...WHERE DID IT GO!? It's almost over. I mean, we are literally just a few weeks from school starting again. Yowzers.
Steve got his books and access to his online classes today. To say he is overwhelmed is quite an understatement. It's been a long time since he was in school and so he's a little...well, overwhelmed. I can tell you we'll be doing a lot of praying over the next year!
I'm very ready for this week to be over. We have plans on Saturday with an old high school friend and her girls at the Adventure Science Center. We are looking forward to it. I just hope it's not too crowded since it will be cool inside!
7.14.2010
Delinquent
I am feeling very delinquent this evening. It's been forever since I posted and there's been quite a bit going on. Things that I should have blogged about, but just didn't. Summer is kicking my butt. I can't seem to get on a good schedule.
I finally got a bunch of my pictures uploaded from my camera, but once I loaded them to Ritzpix, I deleted them from my PC. So this post is going to be pretty stinkin' boring. But I guess there are 1 or 2 of you out there that still check to see what's going on with the Taylors so here you go.
Jenna did get baptized back several weeks ago. We had a fabulous turnout of family and friends. It was a very exciting time for us.
Steve has had no luck finding a job even though he continues to try. Thanks to a friend of ours, he got hooked up with some online classes and by this time next year, he will be a certified professional coder. With ObamaCare, that's going to be a position that will hopefully be in demand. The other blessing about this is that the government is paying for his training. He should start in 2 weeks. It's going to be tough seeing that he's been out of school for so long. But he can do it and we are very excited for him to get started.
The upside of unemployment is that Steve and Jenna have gotten to spend quite a bit of time together this summer. Being the planner I am, before school was out, I sat down and filled the whole calendar with stuff to do almost every day of the week. From library visits and bowling to swimming and the Adventure Science Center. Amazingly, it seems to be working. We are staring down the barrel of school starting again and they haven't killed each other yet!
I've been working a lot since I can get to work super early not having to drop Jenna at school or camp. It's wearing me out, but I'm getting stuff done. If there's one thing I can say for Healthcare Reform, it's that it is keeping me gainfully employed.
From a spiritual front, the Lord has been speaking to both Steve and I individually and as a couple. We have been SO blessed while he's been unemployed. I know I've said it before, but again, I can't possibly detail all the times God has shown up in remarkable ways. I still worry though. Some things are hard to change. And oh-so-painful!
Other than that, we are looking forward to our family vacation (thank God for vacation accounts that are automatically deducted before I ever see my paycheck!) at the beach.
School starts in a month. I'll be the mother of a 3rd grader. So many exciting things going on!
I finally got a bunch of my pictures uploaded from my camera, but once I loaded them to Ritzpix, I deleted them from my PC. So this post is going to be pretty stinkin' boring. But I guess there are 1 or 2 of you out there that still check to see what's going on with the Taylors so here you go.
Jenna did get baptized back several weeks ago. We had a fabulous turnout of family and friends. It was a very exciting time for us.
Steve has had no luck finding a job even though he continues to try. Thanks to a friend of ours, he got hooked up with some online classes and by this time next year, he will be a certified professional coder. With ObamaCare, that's going to be a position that will hopefully be in demand. The other blessing about this is that the government is paying for his training. He should start in 2 weeks. It's going to be tough seeing that he's been out of school for so long. But he can do it and we are very excited for him to get started.
The upside of unemployment is that Steve and Jenna have gotten to spend quite a bit of time together this summer. Being the planner I am, before school was out, I sat down and filled the whole calendar with stuff to do almost every day of the week. From library visits and bowling to swimming and the Adventure Science Center. Amazingly, it seems to be working. We are staring down the barrel of school starting again and they haven't killed each other yet!
I've been working a lot since I can get to work super early not having to drop Jenna at school or camp. It's wearing me out, but I'm getting stuff done. If there's one thing I can say for Healthcare Reform, it's that it is keeping me gainfully employed.
From a spiritual front, the Lord has been speaking to both Steve and I individually and as a couple. We have been SO blessed while he's been unemployed. I know I've said it before, but again, I can't possibly detail all the times God has shown up in remarkable ways. I still worry though. Some things are hard to change. And oh-so-painful!
Other than that, we are looking forward to our family vacation (thank God for vacation accounts that are automatically deducted before I ever see my paycheck!) at the beach.
School starts in a month. I'll be the mother of a 3rd grader. So many exciting things going on!
6.17.2010
Sell it!
As many of you know, I have been very convicted on how I am (or am not) supposed to raise money for this mission journey I am taking to South Africa.
I felt like I should not actively solicit funds for this trip. An opportunity arose recently to host a Gold Party. If you've ever seen those corny commercials on TV about bringing in or selling your gold and were skeptical, well, then this is for you.
A year or so ago, I found myself in the same place but a friend of mine had a party and in a show of support for her and to check it out myself, I went. If you knew me as a teenager, you will recall, I wore rings on every finger and sometimes more than one. So, I loaded up all those rings that I haven't worn since I got engaged (a girl has her priorities!) and took them to this party.
And I walked out with $350 cash. C-A-S-H! I'm not joking. It was stuff I would never have worn again! So, to help those of you like me and to earn just a little money for this trip, I have decided to have a gold party soon. Because of the nature of this party, I'm not putting out the details on this public blog, but if you think you might be interested in coming, shoot me an email at sandras_junk@charter.net (or my work email address if you have it) and I'll get you the details.
I will admit, I have invited about 50 folks already by email and have gotten very low response for a variety of reasons. There is a possibility that I will not have enough folks in attendance to make it worth having, so if you are interested OR if I've sent you an email invite and you haven't RSVP'd, please let me know ASAP.
And finally, I've had several people ask me if they can just donate directly to the trip and the answer is of course. If this is something you feel led to do, you can do it online at https://public.serviceu.com/payment/default.asp?OrgID=8568&PaymentID=3047 and just select the S. Africa September (VBS) trip and enter my name in the field for the recipient name. You can also make a check payable to Brentwood Baptist Church and put my name and "South Africa mission journey" in the memo line and send it to myself or the church.
More to come......
I felt like I should not actively solicit funds for this trip. An opportunity arose recently to host a Gold Party. If you've ever seen those corny commercials on TV about bringing in or selling your gold and were skeptical, well, then this is for you.
A year or so ago, I found myself in the same place but a friend of mine had a party and in a show of support for her and to check it out myself, I went. If you knew me as a teenager, you will recall, I wore rings on every finger and sometimes more than one. So, I loaded up all those rings that I haven't worn since I got engaged (a girl has her priorities!) and took them to this party.
And I walked out with $350 cash. C-A-S-H! I'm not joking. It was stuff I would never have worn again! So, to help those of you like me and to earn just a little money for this trip, I have decided to have a gold party soon. Because of the nature of this party, I'm not putting out the details on this public blog, but if you think you might be interested in coming, shoot me an email at sandras_junk@charter.net (or my work email address if you have it) and I'll get you the details.
I will admit, I have invited about 50 folks already by email and have gotten very low response for a variety of reasons. There is a possibility that I will not have enough folks in attendance to make it worth having, so if you are interested OR if I've sent you an email invite and you haven't RSVP'd, please let me know ASAP.
And finally, I've had several people ask me if they can just donate directly to the trip and the answer is of course. If this is something you feel led to do, you can do it online at https://public.serviceu.com/payment/default.asp?OrgID=8568&PaymentID=3047 and just select the S. Africa September (VBS) trip and enter my name in the field for the recipient name. You can also make a check payable to Brentwood Baptist Church and put my name and "South Africa mission journey" in the memo line and send it to myself or the church.
More to come......
6.16.2010
A year ago...
I've often used the phrase, "My how time flies!" or "Where does the time go?" Today is no exception. A year ago today, my Daddy joined my mother and Mary in heaven. I remember the day like it was yesterday, mostly because that's what it feels like.
How can you go from celebrating your child's entrance into this world 9 years ago yesterday to mourning the exit of one you love today?
I've had several comments and posts about how we are doing with the recent loss of my brother, Danny. All I can say is that we are coping. Each of us in different ways. But we continue to mourn the loss of what was and what was not.
But in this, I take hope...
"He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”-Revelation 21:4 (NLT)
How can you go from celebrating your child's entrance into this world 9 years ago yesterday to mourning the exit of one you love today?
I've had several comments and posts about how we are doing with the recent loss of my brother, Danny. All I can say is that we are coping. Each of us in different ways. But we continue to mourn the loss of what was and what was not.
But in this, I take hope...
"He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”-Revelation 21:4 (NLT)
6.14.2010
Wounded
I've been bad at blogging lately, but summer is kicking my butt. I am all off my schedule and still struggling to find my groove.
I did some thinking this morning on the drive in. With Jenna at home during the summer, the drive in can be quite boring. I think this morning was the first time I really had time to myself to process what happened last week with the loss of my brother.
I find myself vascillating back and forth between being terrified to die and leaving my family prematurely and feeling drawn towards heaven. I'm not suicidal, so don't misunderstand. But just the thought of being with family that I love and have lost and not having so much pain is definitely a desire.
I admit, I am good at faking it. On the outside, I can smile and say I'm fine and thank everyone for their words of sympathy and support. And occasionally I'm good enough to actually make myself forget for short moments at a time. But inside, I'm wondering why.
Wondering what God is wanting me to learn through these last few years.
Wondering when it will stop.
Wondering when things will go back to normal for me.
Wondering if I can even remember what normal is.
Outside I might look "fine". I say the right words and smile in the right places, but inside...I'm hurting. I don't like to hurt, but it lets me know that I'm still alive. As long as I can feel pain, there is life in me. In the song by Natalie Grant, "Held", she talks about Christians not being exempt from pain in this world. I'm not the exception. But I know that God is walking me through all of this. While I don't understand why, there is a reason. And at some level, I have no choice but to trust Him.
It's funny, but I find God speaks to me so much through music. I so missed my calling to be a performer because I do love music. Today I heard the song "Better Than a Hallelujah" by Amy Grant. Now, I'll admit, since she went mainstream, I've not been a huge Amy Grant fan (and it had NOTHING to do with her going mainstream...just thought her music changed too much). But the words to this song just touched me. Because I have satellite radio, I was able to listen to it several times. The words spoke to me. And maybe they speak to you too.
I did some thinking this morning on the drive in. With Jenna at home during the summer, the drive in can be quite boring. I think this morning was the first time I really had time to myself to process what happened last week with the loss of my brother.
I find myself vascillating back and forth between being terrified to die and leaving my family prematurely and feeling drawn towards heaven. I'm not suicidal, so don't misunderstand. But just the thought of being with family that I love and have lost and not having so much pain is definitely a desire.
I admit, I am good at faking it. On the outside, I can smile and say I'm fine and thank everyone for their words of sympathy and support. And occasionally I'm good enough to actually make myself forget for short moments at a time. But inside, I'm wondering why.
Wondering what God is wanting me to learn through these last few years.
Wondering when it will stop.
Wondering when things will go back to normal for me.
Wondering if I can even remember what normal is.
Outside I might look "fine". I say the right words and smile in the right places, but inside...I'm hurting. I don't like to hurt, but it lets me know that I'm still alive. As long as I can feel pain, there is life in me. In the song by Natalie Grant, "Held", she talks about Christians not being exempt from pain in this world. I'm not the exception. But I know that God is walking me through all of this. While I don't understand why, there is a reason. And at some level, I have no choice but to trust Him.
It's funny, but I find God speaks to me so much through music. I so missed my calling to be a performer because I do love music. Today I heard the song "Better Than a Hallelujah" by Amy Grant. Now, I'll admit, since she went mainstream, I've not been a huge Amy Grant fan (and it had NOTHING to do with her going mainstream...just thought her music changed too much). But the words to this song just touched me. Because I have satellite radio, I was able to listen to it several times. The words spoke to me. And maybe they speak to you too.
God loves a lullaby
In a mothers tears in the dead of night
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.
God loves the drunkards cry,
The soldiers plea not to let him die
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.
We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah.
The woman holding on for life,
The dying man giving up the fight
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes
The tears of shame for what's been done,
The silence when the words won't come
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.
We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah.
Better than a church bell ringing, Better than a choir singing out, singing out.
We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah.
6.12.2010
Another Loss
Yesterday we found out that my brother, Danny, passed away in his sleep.
Danny and my brother David are the sons of my mother and her first husband, Carl, who was killed in an explosion when my brothers were very young. When my mother passed away in 1992, Danny basically disappeared from all of our lives. I guess ultimately, he just didn't know how to handle the loss of his only remaining parent.
For years, I've wondered where he was and what he was doing and whether he was even alive. He missed my graduation from college, my marriage to Steve and the birth of Jenna Grace.
Back last September, he found me on Facebook. He reconnected with me and the rest of my family and while he was living in Indiana, we spoke periodically and he came down after Christmas to see us and meet Jenna.
We received a call yesterday that he had passed away in his sleep probably several days ago. He was not in great health but he was only 53. I'm saddened to have lost this brother who I had just reconnected with, but I know he is in a better place.
My remaining brother is devastated. Please pray for us during this time of loss.
Danny and my brother David are the sons of my mother and her first husband, Carl, who was killed in an explosion when my brothers were very young. When my mother passed away in 1992, Danny basically disappeared from all of our lives. I guess ultimately, he just didn't know how to handle the loss of his only remaining parent.
For years, I've wondered where he was and what he was doing and whether he was even alive. He missed my graduation from college, my marriage to Steve and the birth of Jenna Grace.
Back last September, he found me on Facebook. He reconnected with me and the rest of my family and while he was living in Indiana, we spoke periodically and he came down after Christmas to see us and meet Jenna.
We received a call yesterday that he had passed away in his sleep probably several days ago. He was not in great health but he was only 53. I'm saddened to have lost this brother who I had just reconnected with, but I know he is in a better place.
My remaining brother is devastated. Please pray for us during this time of loss.
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